Two weeks back, K came home from school and related how a boy in her school van was trying to peek under her skirt. She told him "jangan" (no) but that didn't stop him. My solution was for her to wear shorts under her skirt (like I did when I went to school). Her father had a better solution, he waited for the school van the next day and warned the boy to NOT "kacau" (disturb) her. Well, I haven't heard anymore stories of that boy trying to have a "free show". I see how my children really appreciate a parent that stands up for them. The playground can sometimes turn into a bully-ground too. I've seen how older kids dominate the swings, not letting anyone else have a turn even though they've been asked politely. KokoD came crying home one day when the other kids had told him to get off the swing. Once again, the kids looked to us to stand up for them, protect them, and to seek justice. Their father accompanied them the next few days and it was funny how when it was time to leave, kokoD insisted they wait for "everyone" to be at the playground first. Sort of like, "my father is here, see if they dare to disturb me."
As for me, I need to learn to be a bit more aggressive. Sometimes, I'm too "chicken" to fight for them. I'm more of the "let's walk away" type. But once in a while, I think our children need to see that their parents will fight for them, that you can be their shield. Especially when others have wronged them. I'm glad my DH has stepped up to that role.
I agree on parents standing up for their children..but it also depends on the situation e.g the age, companion ( whether the other kid has an adult or not), and time ( whether we have the time to settle things on the same spot)...most of the time, i'll confront the parent/s and or watch how the children handle things first..otherwise i interfere...hehe, now that DD1 is old enough to discern..we let her settle disputes her way..the right way.
ReplyDeleteYa agreed that. When parents able to solve or help the kids, I think they would trust us more. This is important to maintain the relationship and kids would love to tell us their daily story.
ReplyDeletebzbee,
ReplyDeleteYes I agree that we have to see the situation too.
vickylow:
Yes, trust is very important. But they also need to learn that we will not blindly fight for them too. Only when it is the right thing to do.
What a great post! And so true. It really helps when kids have a father in the home too. As for me, it's just me and my kids but I still make sure that they see I won't let anyone hurt them or make them uncomfortable. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteapril:
ReplyDeleteYour children are lucky to have a strong mom like you.
I do think that we as parents need to stand up for our children! Else, our children maybe coward when they grow up, coz daddy and mummy always ask them to let go things to other kid! But then, we also cannot stand up for our kids for things that they did wrong, need to be reasonable huh!
ReplyDeleteI hate seeing some parents who pretend not seeing their kids behaving wild and rude in public! Feel like slapping the parents! HAHA