Divine Parenting Tips

Image via WikipediaLast week, I was privileged to watch the April General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (yeah, that's the name of my church). No, I was not in Salt Lake where it was held but we get the CD and we view it at church 1 week later after it is held.

There were 28 speakers spread over 4 sessions (2 sessions per day). The speakers consisted of the First Presidency of the Church, the Quorum of the Twelve and of the Seventies. Yes, it was good to hear the prophet, his apostles and leaders giving divine counsel. I just want to share with you some of the things that were said that really helps me as a mother.

The talk by Lynn G Robbins titled "What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye To Be?" really touched my heart and opened my mind. I will share some excerpts here but I would recommend that you listen to the whole talk, especially if you are struggling with a difficult child. The 10 minutes you spare here will not be wasted. On the contrary, it may be the best parenting advice you hear.



Excerpts:

And to be good parents, one of the most important things we can teach our children is how to be more like the Savior. …

Christlike to be’s cannot be seen, but they are the motivating force behind what we do, which can be seen.

Because be begets do and is the motive behind do, teaching be will improve behavior more effectively than focusing on do will improve behavior.

If you are blessed with a child who tests your patience to the nth degree, you will be enrolled in Parenting 505. Rather than wonder what you might have done wrong in the premortal life to be so deserving, you might consider the more challenging child a blessing and opportunity to become more godlike yourself. With which child will your patience, long-suffering, and other Christlike virtues most likely be tested, developed, and refined? Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you?

We have all heard the advice to condemn the sin and not the sinner. Likewise, when our children misbehave, we must be careful not to say things that would cause them to believe that what they did wrong is who they are. “Never let failure progress from an action to an identity,” with its attendant labels like “stupid,” “slow,” “lazy,” or “clumsy.” 2 Our children are God’s children. That is their true identity and potential. His very plan is to help His children overcome mistakes and misdeeds and to progress to become as He is. Disappointing behavior, therefore, should be considered as something temporary, not permanent—an act, not an identity.

In helping children discover who they are and helping strengthen their self-worth, we can appropriately compliment their achievement or behavior—the do. But it would be even wiser to focus our primary praise on their character and beliefs—who they are

And so, I hope you will join me in teaching and focusing on what we want our children to be and not just trying to change their do.

I know families can be together forever. Yes, your spouse and children can be sealed to you beyond the grave. What a wonderful promise. I am grateful to know this truth and I want you to know it too. Knowing my family can be an eternal family helps me to appreciate and value my role as a mother. And it is wonderful counsel like this that strengthens me when parenting gets a little tough. I encourage you to learn more about how you can strengthen your family and work towards becoming an Eternal Family.

Leave me a comment and tell me if the talk by Lynn G Robbins was helpful to you.