Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The MORE Important Lessons

Just contemplating on Min's comment on how as parents we can get so caught up in the world of "KIASU" education. The world is flooded with messages that we must engage our children in well researched, proven, sure-to- succeed educational methods before the age of 4 if we are to produce genius children. It is easy for us vulnerable, confused, high achieving parents to be taken in by their message. It is not an uncommon practice these days for parents to be shauffering children from one activity to another. But who can blame parents for trying to provide the best for their children.
With that said, let us think for a minute and ponder on this question... What should we do to provide the best for our children?
  • Is it really essential to spend RMxxxx on such programs? Or could simple things like taking time to read to your child , sing and dance with them, play ball with them or enter into their world of make believe enrich them just as much?
  • Does it make YOU proud to be able to say my 2 year old child can read? Are you running a non-existant race of whose child can do what first?
  • Do you believe that play = learning or do you think playing = waste of time?
  • What do you consider important lessons in life?
    Language, maths, science, music etc.... OR
    Values such as kindness, compassion, manners, forgiveness, love, sharing, imagination, optimism etc.... In short, lessons to groom a beautiful spirit.
    Children learn what is important by observing where we place our emphasis.
  • Have we properly equipped our children with the foundational lessons of learning such as listening, focusing, concentrating, and following instructions. Oh, and how dare I miss out a most important ingredient... have we reinforced the idea that learning is fun? Or have we killed that desire already?

Please don't get me wrong. I have no intention of critisizing parents who embrace the expensive, busy way of education. I just wish to make aware IF the MORE IMPORTANT LESSONS in life are being taught. Don't miss out on it just because we are too busy making our children's life busy. So let us take a step back to see where we are headed. Are we sacrificing something of greater importance as we usher them towards achieving worldly success? Are we so busy rushing out of the house trying to make the next activity we have no time to to really, really look and listen to what they have to tell us? Take note that communication is both verbal and non-verbal. Are we allowing their spirit to grow or is it being stunted by a heavy load of activities?

I vote we take extra effort to teach these MORE important lessons NOW when our children are still young and mold-able. The world needs more people gifted with understanding minds, loving hearts and helping hands.


  1. lian,

    i would like ur take on this: these ppl do what they do because they want excellence out of their children and glory for themselves, perhaps to accomplish something they didn't get to when they were children themselves, take the credit for it "hey, MY boy is a genius etc" and yet they delegate or shift the responsibility - all the hard work and toils - to the children and the teachers/tutors/etc.


  2. Hi amt,
    When I was still active in the golfing world, I came across many parents living their dreams through their children. They put so much pressure on their children to win, the children could not find joy in the game. It's the same with learning. Sometimes parents put pressure on the children to perform they forget that the journey is more important then the destination.
    And all this for what? Like you said, self affirmation. They disillusion themselves into thinking that the higher the child's accomplishments, the better a parent they are. I believe that a good parent is one who takes time to REALLY listen and is in tune with their children. I say this because listening is becoming an extinct art as . We listen but sometimes don't really hear what our children are saying. We should strive to lead our children to success, not push. Yes? Good parenting is not equal to high achievements. Good parenting is reflected on how beautiful the child is on the inside. Agree?


Don't go without saying something. I would love to read your comments. BUT no junk comments please.