Monday, January 09, 2012

Who would you rather die first?

Today my mom told me that my back neighbor had passed away. It feels weird, and tragic, that the lady I see walking her children to school every morning is suddenly gone. We were told it was due to an accident. I believe she has 6 children.

This got me thinking about my kids. Would they be better off if I died first or their dad? I know, I know... such a morbid topic. Anyway, I posed my question to my kids just to see how their minds work.

So, I went to each of them and asked this hypothetical question:
"If an angel appeared to you and told you that one of your parents need to die and he gave you the opportunity to choose which parent it should be, which would you choose?"

K: I don't know. Don't ask me to answer such question. Both also I don't want dead. Don't force me to answer.
D1: I'll choose mommy (answered hesitantly coz' he thought I'd get angry). Because I'm a boy and you know... boy with boy (meaning he still has a dad to bond with and show him the ropes). Plus, daddy earns the money (smart kid, as I suspected).
D2: I choose daddy. Because he is older (what do you expect from a 4 year old?)

Anyway, in my situation, I think my kids are better off if I died first. I agree with D1; Daddy earns the money and so if he died first, our family would not have to go through a major, major change. If I died first, the family would not suffer financially. And fortunately we still have grandparents that can help take care of them. Of course they would miss me but I don't think their life would be turned upside down.

What are your thoughts on this? Who would you rather die first, you or your spouse?

p.s. Just to make things clear, this is just a hypothetical question. It is not about making death wishes. Please do not be offended.


  1. This was the thought expressed a long time ago by someone I know:
    The wife said to the husband, "I think I prefer you die first." The husband was shock and a little upset to hear that. She then went on to explain, "If I died first I cannot take care of you till the last day of your life. I want to take care of you, all the way, until your very last day on earth." Well, at that time, they still didn't have children. Things might have changed but I was touched by her unique perspective.

  2. Singapore Girl:
    Hahaha. Husband must have thought the wife cannot tahan want him to die faster. Which goes to show, you need to hear people out before jumping to conclusions.

  3. scary way of dying, especially for those kids :(

  4. Ai Lian, interesting question. I think it is better for me to die first in my family. Reason, their dad can do things that their mom can, their mom can do things that their dad can. I am very honest to you, my husband is too wonderful to be a dad. I am the lousy one at home.

  5. Well... both parties do play a part.
    Daddy could get all the money ..
    but Mummy love is something that cannot be replaceble ...
    It is rather story of chicken or egg first...

  6. Mummy to QiQi:
    Ya, no chance to say goodbye. Just suddenly gone and life changes in 1 second.

    Sheoh Yan:
    Yes, I also believe my DH is more capable than me.

    Simple Person:
    That is true. Either way, something is lost. The questions is, who is better able to move the family forward?


Don't go without saying something. I would love to read your comments. BUT no junk comments please.