Wednesday, February 15, 2006

How Do You Really See Your Child?

A nasty comment I received recently sparked off this thought. Part of the comment was for me to "realise that your kids are just as normal/boring as everyone elses."

I wondered to myself, how horrible it would be for kids around the world if their parents viewed them as normal/boring. One of the greatest gifts a parent can give a child is that of confidence and a healthy self esteem. Parents wish their children to grow up believing in themselves and living up to their boundless potential. BUT that is never going to happen if children are viewed as normal/boring through the eyes of their parent.

We are all walking mirrors. Children first learn about themselves by observing how people treat them, more so their own parents. Here is a quote to remember:

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming." --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

So to people like ANONYMOUS (who didn't have the guts to own up to such a ridiculous comment), I boldly say that you are akin to murderers. It is such thinking that kills the delicate souls of children. It is such thoughts pressed upon them that stranggles their hope and dreams causing it to shrivel and die.
I applaud many of the blogging parents I see highlighting the so called "boring-ness" of their children but delight in sharing them nonetheless. To you I say keep up your wonderful spirits. Others like ANONYMOUS have their eyesights dimmed and their vision blurred by negativity. They cannot comprehend the light in our eyes. They have chosen to default the priviledge to behold the beauty and "unboring-ness" of children.

Which brings me to another thought: TEACH CHILDREN TO LOOK FOR THE GOOD.
However, the only way to teach our children this is by way of example. So today, this week, this month, this year... let us be a little more positive in our thoughts, speech and action.


  1. when you expose yourself to the world... you'll learn to forgive and to forget... we can't stop everyone from thinking negatively right? :)

    you're right, self esteem and self confidence is the best gift a parent could give his/her child... besides love and care :)

  2. Ai Lian, what was the nasty comment from anonymous? Egghead is wise and correct -- there will always be bad apples in this world.

  3. Hi Egghead and Cindy,
    The comment was made in my posting about Youth Park. Anyway, I accept the fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I have no vindictive feelings against the person. I admit it did make me hot for a few minutes. In a way I must thank that person coz' it gave me something to think and write about. It would not have mattered if he said "I think your kids are normal/boring". What bothered me was his suggesting that "I realise that my kids are boring." That to me was very disturbing. At the surface it may sound like not a big deal but the more I thought of it, I realised how very dangerous that comment was. That very sentence sparked off a marathon of thoughts in my head.
    Anyway, thank you for your kind words. I didn't want to just forgive and forget... I wanted to learn and take away something good from it. Hence this posting to remind myself to becareful how I think of my children. For what I think, they will become.

  4. Hi Ai Lian,

    I have posted my message to Anonymous -- What a rude, hurtful and obnoxious person he or she is!!

    Do not take the comment personally as the problem is her, not you! It is evident that you love your children very much and that is what makes them unique and special. You are a great mother and doing a fantastic job with them.

    The only thing to learn from Anonymous is tolerance and forgiveness as it is really sad that this person is in so much pain that she must lash out her hostility on the internet...your blog just happen to be there, if you know what I mean. Aren't you glad we also learn not to be like her? Anger and Destruction destroys a person.

    Time to celebrate life again and leave negative people to themselves, right?

    Be Happy! : )

  5. Thanks Cindy. You are always very supportive. You exude Sunshine in this sometimes gloomy world. Everybody needs a "Cindy" in their life. Glad to have you in mine :)

  6. Today I just stopped by a site dedicated to ridiculize a TV show host, and is unbelievable how there is people that just lives nurturing from negativity. My first action was to close the site and think to do my best for my son never to be like this... Now I read this ANONYMOUS comment and my thought is stronger... Every single day I learn something new from my son, from him and about my self. This is something ANONYMOUS will never have the pleasure to enjoy!

  7. Hi Leyda,
    Good to have you on board our positivity train. Yes, it is a sad thing that people are quick to critisize but slow to compliment. That's why I hope one of the things I teach my children (and myself of course) is to always look for the good.

  8. Hmmm, he is not gonna see anything in his/her kid. Pity the child.

    He/she better change, or esle, not only the child will not be able to bring out the qualities within, the parent will also not be able to cherish the child and the milestones.


Don't go without saying something. I would love to read your comments. BUT no junk comments please.