Came across this news bit asking if we, as parents, have a favorite child? It got me thinking... do I have a favorite child?
Well, I do. My favorite child is......... whoever is obedient and not giving me a headache at the moment. Hahahahah. So I guess my favorite child could change minute to minute, hour to hour and day to day.
In all seriousness, I don't think I have a favorite child. Each of my 4 children have their own strengths and weaknesses. Each of them give me joy and stress in different ways. They each have their own way of making me smile. Each have also contributed to my head of grey hairs. I would be devastated if anything bad were to happen to any child of mine. They are all important to me and I could not choose to love one more than another. But I admit, that it is easier to feel love for a child who is not throwing a tantrum and screaming the house down. However, I do not have favorites.
I DON'T try to treat my children equally. I don't think that is possible. I learned by observing a good friend of mine that we care for our children according to their needs. If one child of mine is going through a rough time and needs more attention, then I will give more attention to that child. At the same time, I try not to ignore the other children. I explain to them that their sibling needs some extra help and ask that they support me in giving that help. Being fair is not about children receiving the same treatment and attention but receiving the treatment and attention that is befitting their needs.
Here are some things I do to not play favorites:
- Don't always protect the younger ones and blame the older ones.
- Reward according to works. Good works must not go unnoticed.
- Hug time at the end of the day. Everyone gets a turn.
- Consensus. Rope in the opinion and consent of all siblings in certain decisions. For example, every time one of my children want to use the computer, he/she needs to ask the siblings' permission too besides mom's permission.
- Don't just call the oldest to help out with the chores (or only the girls). Everyone must help according to their capabilities.