Saturday, June 09, 2012

6 Things to Tell Your Daughters about Boys

As a woman, there are many things I would like to go back and tell my younger self. A lot of mistakes were made that I wish I could prevent now. But you can’t go back. However, also as a woman, there are a few things that I think I have insight into now that I am older. Things I wish my parents had told me growing up;things about boys, dating, and sex. Here are six of them:

1. Sex isn’t bad – I was raised very conservatively, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, there does need to be a healthy balance. If you send your daughters out thinking that sex is something to be feared and the desire for sex is something to be ashamed of, what happens when they get married? Does a switch suddenly flip and it is all okay now? No. If you are raising them conservatively, let them know that sex is a good, natural thing, to be shared between a husband and a wife.

2. Sex isn’t everything – Television and other kids send you another type of message about sex. Sex isn’t the be all and end all of existence. No one is having sex all the time, and all your friends haven’t had sex. Relationships, friendships, aren’t all about sex. Sex is just a tiny part of life; don’t make it bigger than it really is.

3. Boys aren’t all creeps – Between parents warning daughters to watch for boys who are ‘only after one thing’ and the media publicizing horror stories and perverts left and right, it is no wonder girls are afraid of boys. Not all boys are like that. Teach your daughters what a good man looks like, acts like, talks like.

4. Respect them, respect yourself–Relationships are about respect, and healthy sexual relationships are about that too. Boys aren’t the only culprits when it comes to sexuality and forwardness. Lots of girls are ‘coming on to’ boys nowadays. Teach your daughters not only to respect themselves and their sexuality, but to respect the boys as well.

5. Be ready – It is so important to teach them more than ‘don’t EVER have sex’ or ‘if you have sex, be safe’. Daughters (and sons) need to understand that people mature at different rates. Just because their friend is ready to take that step doesn’t mean they have to. They need to be ready; ready for the responsibility and the consequences.

6. There are consequences–Sex is an adult responsibility. When sex occurs, there is much more to it than physical interaction. First off are the typical pregnancy and disease warnings. Yes, those are important, but more important and less well known is this: sex causes connections. Deep, emotional connections that don’t go away. Daughters need to know that they are connecting themselves permanently to that person. At a young age, especially, it is likely the relationship will not last. What then? They get a piece of their heart ripped out. The more partners, the more pieces removed until their heart is tattered and empty. Talk about an unhappy life.

You may not agree with me about all these points, but these are my experiences. These are the things I wish I’d known as a young woman. And even though they may be things you didn’t experience, they may be things your daughter will. Take the time to have a serious conversation before your daughter gets herself into something she’s not ready for.

Author Bio

Heather Smith is an ex-nanny. Passionate about thought leadership and writing, Heather regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and parenting blogs/websites. She also provides value to become a nanny by giving advice on site design as well as the features and functionality to provide more and more value to nannies and families across the U.S. and Canada. She can be available at H.smith7295 [at]


  1. It's always a taboo to talk about sex in most Asian families. And I have yet to think how to educate my children on this subject.

    Thanks for sharing the tips, Lian.

    1. It is not easy. Try to get a book to help you explain.

  2. Lovely. I have actually been thinking of this. I want to be an open minded mom/friend to my girls. You know, I have only daughters. So, I want them to embrace their first sex and not to spoilt it, it may affect their future sex life. So, I decide to talk to them openly about this topic. Thanks for sharing, Ai Lian, it is very useful.


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