Saturday, January 24, 2009

What I Don't Want To Hear When I Tell You I'm Pregnant Again

I'm sure you know what the above picture means - Yes, no.4 is on the way. Before you make any comments or pass any judgement, read the rest of this post first.

It's been interesting to hear what people have said to me each time I announce that I'm pregnant (especially family members.) With the first baby, everyone is generally very happy. They'll say "Congratulations", "Great news", "I'm so happy to hear this" etc.... With the 2nd baby, the excitement is still there but not so much. The general reaction is like "Good, your first child will have a playmate" or "Yes, 2 children is a good balance". When I announced my 3rd pregnancy, it was like "Another one?" I felt like a brave soldier who was daring enough to have more children than I have hands. Now with this 4th pregnancy, the enthusiasm is definitely gone. My mom said "Up to you lah, since you're so fertile". Father-in-law had only 1 sentence: "ko chai pregnant?" That's hokkien for "pregnant again?" Not even a smile or a glimpse of happiness. Mother-in-law has yet to find out and we'll tell her when we go back for Chinese New Year this Sunday. Can't wait to hear what she says (yeah, right). I've also gotten questions such as "was this planned or was it an accident?" and "how many children are you planning to have?"

Well, I just want to point out that:
  1. I'm happy to be pregnant again. Having a child is a good thing - it doesn't matter what number the child is. Each pregnancy is a cause to be celebrated. So what if the baby was planned or an accident? It doesn't make the baby less precious. Each deserves some enthusiasm and excitement, not dread and skepticism.
  2. I've been taught that each child is a gift from God. I truly believe this. I feel honored that Heavenly Father trusts me enough to send that spirit to my home. Can I handle 4 kids? With His help I can. He won't give me something I can't handle. I know if I have faith, put my trust in Him and counsel with Him in all that I do, He will bless me with the skills and knowledge needed to care for this family. Successful parenting is not a one-person job. It involves 3 people: mother, father and God.
  3. My children is my wealth. Yes, definitely our expenses will go up but I believe the Lord will provide. We try our best and do what is right and He will do the rest. We may not live in luxury but that won't scar my children. On the contrary, they will learn to overcome problems and hardships. Plus, what they really need is parental love, support, and guidance. When we come to the end of this life, family is the only thing that matters. I believe that families are forever. Not our house, car, money and possessions.
So, when I tell you that I'm pregnant, even if it's for the 10th time, be happy and give me an enthusiastic "CONGRATULATIONS!" I'm excited and that's why I'm sharing the news with you. To me, it's wonderful news. So don't rain on my parade. What I need is for you to be happy too. I need your support, not your judgement.

Okay, that's all I want to say. You can go ahead and make your comments now :)

25 comments:

  1. Hi Lian

    Its is so good to hear that you are pregnant.. Congratulations....I completely agree. no matter what is the number, every child is a precious little thing God has put in your womb...Infact yeaterday only I posted about the age gap among kids on my blog... would definitely like to hear your views... And take very good care of your self.. :)

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  2. Congratulations!

    Are you trying to catch up with me? ;)

    I know first hand what it's like to get lukewarm response when announcing pregnancies after the first 2 children. BUT let me tell you, now that my children are older, I usually hear, "Wow! You're so lucky to have so many children!" Some even commented, "Wish I thought about having more when I was younger."

    The hardwork is beyond description no doubt, nor the joy of having your children surround you because they are so attracted to you and LOVE you.

    I used to muse at the idea of giving up 1 child or 2 from my brood of 6, I couldn't pick anyone out! Everyone single one is precious and I couldn't think of how to live without even one of them.

    Thank you for sharing your joy with us, and speaking firmly to those who are suspicious of your/our joy.

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  3. a&a'smom25 January, 2009 16:54

    Very frank & good write up! Dont bother with what others say as they r not the ones bringing them up. Once again, congrats & may u have a safe pregnancy.

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  4. congrats hun :)

    hahhaa I for one am thrilled for you :)

    Children are blessings definitely. :) and you are a great mum and you will always find a way!

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  5. Hi Lian,
    Congratulation! I wish I am as lucky like you... every time when I saw the 2nd line appear on the tester, I will sure scream because too happy :-)

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  6. Four is Fantastic! I only have three, but maybe we will be blessed with another someday. I want to congratulate you, this is an exciting time in your life.
    BTW this is the first time I commented on your blog. Hope you don't mind a stranger saying hi.

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  7. Hi Lian,

    Congratulations!!! That's a piece of exciting news!! I'm sure you will have no problem in taking care of 4 children yourself with your capability and faith in God. :)

    Wishing you and your family a happy, healthy and prosperous Chinese New Year!

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  8. Congratulation!
    I'm happy for u.
    As I'm also in my 3rd pregnancy, juggling with another 2 kids on my own. Meaning no hubby around (he's stationed overseas). If I can do it, definitely u can. Keep positive!

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  9. Hahaahaha....I believe that Children belong to God. We are merely here to help Him care for them in the interim before they get returned to Him. And indeed, they are absolute blessings......

    Be so grateful that you dont belong to the narrow minded camp (poor them!) and that God has blessed you with a good head on your shoulders :-)

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  10. congratulations! it is indeed great news! i agree with every bit of your article. well done! looking forward to more! articles and children! LOL

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  11. What a fortunate child to be born into this welcoming family. Congratulations!

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  12. nice tips and tricks

    visit my blog on parenting
    http://www.earlyhood.blogspot.com
    http://www.parenting-wikipedia.blogspot.com

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  13. Hi Jaanvi:
    Will be visiting your blog soon.

    Singapore girl:
    Don't know if I have the strength to play catch up with you. But you are inspiring though. Each pregnancy seems to be a little harder. Maybe I need to get myself into shape first.

    a&a'smom:
    Thanks. I know I can always count on your support.

    cuddlyfamily:
    Waiting impatiently for your good news.

    Anonymous:
    That's how it should be all the time -- scream because too happy :)

    mama of wild things:
    Thanks for commenting. I'm sure your no. 4 will arrive soon. BTW, once you comment, you're not a stranger anymore :)

    crazymommy:
    Thanks for the well wishes and kind words.

    iqa_zarfan:
    Wow, you're indeed THE supermommy. Hope you are having a smooth pregnancy. Your children are so lucky to have such a capable mom.

    mamapumpkin:
    I had to find God before He could put that head on my shoulders :) You seem to have the right idea too. Join me at church?

    Anonymous #2:
    You can bet on more articles, but can't guarantee on the more children.

    Happy Heart Princess:
    Thanks.

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  14. congrats!!!! And you know the drill on combating morning sickness:)

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  15. Need to say more! "CONGRATS! again... Mummy! You are brave and blessed! God blessed and He did indeed! How happy are those who are call to be a "Mummy"! I'm still waiting for this precious chance to be call "Mummy" again!

    Hey! Do pass me some tips, okay? *wink*

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  16. i don't understand why some ppl could be so negative abt something so wonderful like this. congratulations lian. no. 4 sounds great :) i'm still working on no.2

    take good care of yourself, even wonderwoman needs a break once in a while!

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  17. Congratulations Lian. I am so envious. More children means more love to go around. Imagine being loved unconditionally by four, for that is how children love. Isn't that just wonderful? Your household will be so filled with love!

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  18. so happy to hear this piece of great news from you. congrats!!!!!

    to me, i want even more, best if 8 or 10, hahaha!!! so that i could have lots of grandchildren when i am old.

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  19. Yes Ai Lian! Speak your mind and who the hell cares what the rest think! Congrats! Looking forward to more news on baby's prgress.

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  20. CONGRATULATIONS!!! 4 is not so scary, lol. It just takes longer to do things. You can do it though!

    I only had 2 pregnancies for the four boys, but got a similar reaction from family members when we surprised them with the news the second time. It all worked out well though, and everyone adjusted fine.

    Pay the naysayers no mind. Big families are becoming more and more common. And that's a good thing, honest! We need to have lots of children around to take care of us in our old age, lol.

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  21. Lian...I want to Congrats you...
    Dont care what people say...
    You know best...
    God sure bless you..
    You can manage...I am sure..

    take care

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  22. Of cos congratulation la ..... sory, i m late here tooo ... seem like alot of moo moo baby this year when i go ard some mummies blog ....:)

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  23. Very good write up Lian! Now, let me wish you CONGRATS! Looking forward to read more posts from you on how this pregnancy is going. I wish you'll have another healthy, bouncy, cute and chubby baby!

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  24. Great news, Lian..I am very happy for all of you.No 4 will be excellent!! You go girl!!!
    You are and will be a great mum, as always.

    Michelle from Sydney

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  25. yes truly agreed with you, when you said our child is our wealth and child is a gift from god. i know its quite late to congratulate you, but still can since you in pregnancy mode. :D

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