Getting Kids Into The Kitchen

Many parents shoo their children out of the kitchen. But in actual fact, getting kids into the kitchen is very beneficial for them and for you. Cooking is a skill that should not be overlooked. And I'm not just talking about teaching your daughters how to cook, but also your sons.
For young children, they are many hidden lessons in the kitchen - math, science, reading. You can also build up their motor skills when you teach them to crack eggs, help do the whipping or stirring, kneading, rolling, cutting, pouring, peeling, etc.... Not forgetting passing down knowledge you don't find in books such as the fastest way to peel garlic, how to counteract spiciness, what is the best soy sauce to use etc....

When I was in primary school, I joined the Brownies. I remember one activity that involved cooking. One girl cooked French Toast and it was really good. I recall wondering "where did she learn to do that?" I was quite amazed at her capability.

Well, I've decided that I need to rope in my daughter into the kitchen more often. I've been inspired by some moms out there who cook with their children every Saturday. I think this is a wonderful idea. Not only do the children learn, but it's also a great way to bond and spend some quality time together.

Here's K trying not to burn the french toast.

First time I'm trusting her with a knife.

Edible? Baby thinks so. It turned out great.

An important part of cooking is learning to prepare the ingredients. I had K peel garlic for me today. A whole bunch of them. She was a great help and freed up some time for me to clean the fans in the house. She learned something today -- peeling garlic is sticky. Oh, she learned another thing -- your hands smell of garlic even after you wash :)

BTW, K is going to be 7 years old this year. I believe you can start getting them into the kitchen at about 5 years old.

How I Motivated My Child To Excel In Exams

Last Thursday, my girl came back from school and she was screaming "Mommy, Mommeeeeee" all the way from the outside gate until inside the house. I thought she was being chased by some bad guys or something. Actually, she was screaming because she scored 100% in her science paper. She was very excited.

I'm not telling you guys this to brag (okay, brag a little lah). But just wanted to discuss about ways you motivate your children to excel in exams. Before her recent exams, my girl was saying that it is impossible to get 100%. However, I know it is within her potential to achieve 100%. So to get her a little motivated, I said I'd reward her RM5 for every 100% she got.

So, now my question is: Do you think it is a good idea to motivate your children with money????

I remember when I was in school, I had friends who had promises of oversea trips if they did well in exams. Me? My mom would say "you should ask what you will get if you DON'T do well." Hahaha. She said it jokingly.

But I believe money can be a good motivator. The trick is not to offer too much coz' then you overshadow the intrinsic reward. You still want the "feel good" factor to be greater than the external factor.

Let me share with you how my father encouraged me during my golf practices. Yes, sometimes he would use money too but it was so my practice sessions stayed interesting. I would earn money for every birdie, double three, double 5, and trot. But I would also have to pay for double bogeys. Sorry if you don't understand the golf terms. Bottom line is, it worked for me. It wasn't a lot of money but just the token of it was good enough to keep me striving.

Anyway, that was my strategy with my girl. I just wanted her to strive for the 100% by attaching a token to it. Now that she knows it is not impossible, I think I will reduce the reward (or else I might go "pokai"). Hahahah.

Baby Milestone: 17 Months

Baby is starting to show signs of independence. He now demands for his own bowl and spoon during eating times. He tries hard to get the food onto his spoon and then into his mouth. Sometimes he is successful with the former, but not the latter :) When the process gets to difficult, there is always the backup plan... use fingers to eat.
What does mommy do? Tell daddy to close his eyes coz' he cannot stand mess. Hahaha. Also to cut down on clean up time, I put a newspaper under the bowl and also newspaper on the floor to catch the ones that "get away" or "fly away". I must give some credit to daddy. He has been very patient in "coaching" baby to eat. He will take baby's hand and show him how to scoop up the food. The most important part is teaching baby to lean forward as he puts the food into his mouth. That way if he misses, the food will drop into the bowl/plate. So remember, bring the mouth to the spoon and not the other way around.

This stage of wanting to eat by himself is a real test for us. I realize that baby and us have different agendas. Here we are focused on getting baby to eat. Whereas, baby is happy that he has been given the freedom to PLAY with food. He is more focused on what he can do with the utensil in his hand - push the food around, trying to cut the food, tossing the food, occasionally using it to put food in his mouth, trying to scoop food from your plate etc.... It's a tough stage but it's vital that we don't give up. It's easier to just continue feeding them ourselves. Easier BUT not beneficial.

BabyD at this age has also mastered the art of getting pity. When I scold him, he will cry tragically to his daddy. When daddy scolds him, he will come running to me. When we both scold him, he will seek out jie-jie (big sister). He will put his hands to his eyes and motion for you to wipe away his tears. When you ask him what happened, he will complain in his own baby way (coz' he can't talk yet). Fantastic this baby. The other day at church, he went from one auntie to another, pointing to a tiny mosquito bite on his hand. With his cutie pie face, you can imagine the pampering he got.

Oh baby, baby. You make life very interesting... and exhausting.

Fill Your Love Tank For Effective Parenting

This is what I probably looked like to my kids yesterday.

This is how I felt yesterday.

I admit it, yesterday was not a good day for me. The cleaning, cooking, washing, mothering etc... just got the better of me. I just felt unappreciated and uncared for. I was mean and just couldn't find the strength to GIVE anymore. Yup, I wanted to be selfish and think of ME for a change. Inside my head I was scheming how to runaway from the house (but I didn't). Sigh! It really was an "ARRRGH!" day. I think many parents out there know what I mean.

My poor kids felt their mommy didn't love them anymore. I even got a note from them saying "Dear Mommy, you don't love your children anymore is it? You only love baby."
Alamak! Well, it was a blessing to get that note coz' then I was able to think and explain to them (in writing) what happened to their mommy. I realized that I was running on an empty "love tank".

Now what is this talk about a "love tank?" It's based on this book called "5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. The 5 love languages mentioned in the book are:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

Like a car that needs petrol in the tank to function, we need love in our tank to function effectively too. But how a person perceives love can differ from how their love ones perceive it. For example, your husband buys you a high tech vacuum cleaner. He perceives this as showing love because the vacuum cleaner will be a great help in your daily cleaning. However, you don't perceive that gift as love. Love to you is going out for a nice dinner and spending some alone time together. Hence, your love tank remains empty because both husband and wife are talking different "love languages."

So anyway, Monday nights are our Family Home Evening night. And naturally, the lesson was on "how to fill our love tanks." (My DH was snickering when he heard what the topic was, humph!). We wrote down the 5 ways and gave an explanation on what each was. With children you have to give plenty of examples. So, we discussed specific encouraging / complimentary phrases to use and specific acts of service that can be performed. Then we each identified which was our "love language". Jie-jie straight away pointed to "quality time" and "physical touch." KokoD said he wanted "acts of service." But we also know "physical touch" is important to him coz' he is always hugging and kissing me. Daddy and mommy also chose "acts of service."

In summary to my yucky day, here are my parenting tips:

• You can't be an effective parent on an empty love tank.
• Be thick skinned and tell your family what you need to get that tank filled. Don't wait for your spouse to guess it right or assume that he/she knows. If you need a day off, just say it. If you feel unappreciated, scream it!
  
• Explain to your children how you feel. When I replied their note and told them what I felt, my daughter went "Silly mommy!" Then she tried to do things to make me feel better. She took extra effort to wash her own plate and take care of the baby. So, tell your children you need a little caring from them too. Tell them your "empty tank" needs a re-fueling.
• When you are having a bad day and feeling disgruntled, it's good to put your feelings down on paper. It gets you thinking more rationally, and it helps to organize your thoughts. It's one way to let the "steam" out and you don't have to scream to do it. Post it on the wall for all to see. That'll get your kids learning to read too. Hahahah.
  

How To Cut Onions and Don't Cry

I hate cutting onions coz' I always end up crying with eyes stinging. I remember when I was younger, I heard that if we stick some match sticks in our mouth (like smoking cigarette) while cutting, the onions won't make you cry. I tried that. Errr... sorry, didn't work.
I've also tried holding my breath as much as I can while cutting. I thought that breathing in the onion vapors is what makes you cry right. Wrong! It's the stuff that gets in your eyes and irritate it.
So, I just read somewhere that cutting onions near a fire source will stop the stinging eyes. Something to do with the fire burning up the vapors from the onions coz' it's highly flamable (don't quote me coz' I don't know if it's true). Anyway, this is what I did yesterday. Put a little candle on the table as I cut away.

Result?

A little bit of stinging eyes but no tears. Maybe I need a bigger candle :)

p.s. They say cutting under water or under running water will wash away the vapors when you cut. But I don't think that is practical. Well, not for me anyway.

p.s.s. This will make a great science lesson for children. Teach them "why onions make you cry?"

Nice Cloth Diaper in Malaysia

I recently wrote a tip about how to wash cloth diapers in the washing machine without ruining it. Thought I'd follow up with an introduction to a Malaysian online store that sells cloth diapers. I see more and more mothers choosing to use cloth diapers over disposable ones. If you are wondering where to buy them, you can visit...



The brands they carry are Bumwear, Baby Beehinds, and KS Velcro Pocket Diaper.
I hear some women also trying out Cotton Menstrual Pads. This shop carries that product also. Other stuff they have are like baby slings/pouches, flashcards (English, Chinese & BM), environmental friendly mosquito and cockroach repellent and environmental friendly laundry ball (this one I've never heard but sounds interesting).

Well, just thought you'd like to know of another Malaysian parenting shop. Pay them a visit today.

Chicken Curry Kapitan

First off, I want to say that I'm not sure if what I cooked here is really Chicken Curry Kapitan. I searched the net for a recipe and I think it is sort of like that lah. The reason for cooking this dish is none other than to fulfill my DH wishes. He is the "I-love-to-eat-spicy-food" kinda person. He has even requested that there be a curry dish at least once a week. Sigh! Big challenge for someone who grew up not knowing how to eat spicy food. It is through his influence that I've come to acquire the taste for chili.

Anyway, this dish has a spicy-sour taste. DH says that "it's almost there." We can't figure out what I'm missing out. He also can't quite remember what authentic Curry Kapitan taste like. It may not taste like authentic Kari Kapitan but it still taste good.

So, if you are game to try, here is the recipe. Oh, before I start, must say that this dish does require a bit of work and planning. It's not one of those dishes that you can decide impromptu and pull things from your kitchen cabinets. My very talented FIL does a wonderful job stocking our fridge with ready made chili paste. Let me give you his chili recipe first:

CHILI PASTE
Ingredients:

• 50g dry chili (take out the seeds. Wash and soak in hot water).
• 250g shallots
• 1 clove garlic
• Belacan, 1 finger long
• Lengkuas (about 1 inch)
• Kunyit – if fresh, about 1 inch, if powder form 1 tsp.
  
• 3-4 lemon grass. Cut away the top and chop it up.
• 6-8 candlenut. Smash it
• 20-25 pcs cili padi (depends on how spicy you want it).

Directions:
In a blender, blend all the ingredients above to a paste.
In a wok, put about 1 cup oil then add the paste. Cook under medium fire until it comes to a boil. Turn down to low fire and keep on stirring for 20-30 minutes. The longer you stir, the longer you will be able to store it. Put in container and refrigerate.

Tip: Be sure to have sufficient amount of oil so it doesn’t burn.

With this ready to go chili paste, cooking any curry or spicy food becomes a breeze. If you have to prepare chili paste each and every time you want to cook, then cooking becomes time consuming. So it is good to allocate some free time to prepare this chili paste and store in the freezer.

Okay, now for the rest of the CURRY KAPITAN RECIPE.

INGREDIENTS:

• Chicken cut into bite size (I used about 1/2 a chicken). Marinade with about 1 tbsp of kunyit (turmeric) powder, some salt and a sprinkle of belacan granules.
  
• 2 big onions - quartered
• 2 tomatoes - quartered
  
• Garlic - minced
• The above mentioned chili paste.
  
• 4-5 lemon grass. Chopped up and then pounded.
  
• Curry leaves (just because DH bought a whole bunch that was on sale).
• Coconut milk
  
• Lime leaves (the fragrant ones).
• Lime to make lime juice
  

HOW TO COOK?

• Put oil in wok and start frying the garlic.
• Then put in the pounded lemon grass and onions.
• Add in your chili (how much depends on how spicy you want it to be).
• Next is some sugar (to take away some spiciness).
  
• Fry (or us Malaysians like to say "tumi") until fragrant. Hokkien we say "phang-phang".
  
• Add in the chicken and keep on frying for a little while.
  
• A dash of soy sauce.
  
• Pour in the coconut milk. Sorry I didn't measure. I just bought the packet of fresh coconut from the shop and poured into the wok about 2/3. If estimate, I would say about 1 cup of milk?
  
• I added in a bit of water too, so the chicken can cook, simmer and stew.
  
• Dumped in some lime leaves, a bunch of curry leaves and the tomatoes.
  
• Also added 1/3 cube of chicken stock.
• Covered the wok and let it simmer till most of the gravy has evaporated. Stirring occasionally.
  
• Towards the end, add the rest of the coconut milk and the lime juice.
  
• Cook for about another 5 minutes. Gravy should be quite thick now.
  
• Don't forget to taste and see if it's salty enough etc.... Suit your taste okay.
  

I read some recipes calling to add thin coconut milk in the beginning and then thick coconut milk at the end. Aiyah, sorry-lah. Me lazy to buy the shredded coconut and do the squeezing myself. So, I'm voting to forgo the thin and thick part. I just buy the already squeezed coconut milk and use that. First part of the cooking I poured in the milk and then added water, so can consider as thin milk I guess. Then towards the end I just add the rest of the coconut milk (without water), can consider that thick milk right?

Okay, I think you guys get the picture that my cooking isn't exactly like the pros. But hey, it still tasted darn good.

What Happened to My Cloth Diaper

I know many mothers are now turning to using cloth diapers. But I've not read of anyone having problems with the leg gathers/gutters/gusset/becoming loose. Not sure how to explain...erm... meaning the stretchy thingy that is suppose to keep all the poo in is now stretched and has lost it's spring-iness. So much so that if baby has loose stools, it kinda runs down his leg. Ewww!

Maybe I should give some background as to how I wash these diapers. If there is poo, I hand wash it off first and then later, dump it into the washing machine with the rest of my daily laundry. I only bought 7, so I have to wash everyday or I will run out. Now, I suspect the gutters (that's what I'm calling it) have become loose because of the spin-dry action of the washing machine. You know when you take the clothes out to dry, they are all kinda tangled up together? Well, I believe this repeated stretching because of the entanglement is why my cloth diapers are what they are today.

Recently I started using a laundry bag to wash them. Unfortunately, the damage has already been done.

Mamas Parenting Tip:

• For all mothers out there with still new cloth diapers, consider using a laundry bag to wash your cloth diapers. This is so they won't get tangled with your other laundry and stretch out the gutters.
  

Baby Milestone: 15-16 months

Looks like I missed baby's 15 month milestone. So, guess I'll do a 2-in-1 posting. Many people say babyD is very mature for his age. He understands so many things and the way he handles himself, sometimes can give you heart attack coz' you think he is going to fall or bump his head but he doesn't. And even when he does fall, he won't cry (unless very, very, very painful). Yes, his pain tolerance is quite high. He has cut himself a few times before and I didn't know about it coz' he made no noise. Okay, so here is a list of things he is up to:

• He soooooo wants to be involved in our activities and always looking for ways to help. The other day when we called for the older two siblings to help take the plates of rice out to the dining table, who should come running into the kitchen instead? Yes, babyD with his hands stretched out, asking us to give him the plates. We gave him forks and spoons instead. Now he comes for the fork and spoons every time we get ready to eat.
  He would also sit and watch me sweep and mop the floor. In the end I will give him mop a bit and that is what he is waiting for.
  He will want to put the folded clothes into the laundry basket so I can carry it upstairs. Unfortunately all the clothes will come undone. Helpful but also not helping you know?
  
• He observes everyone and everything and then he will imitate. Here he is sitting quietly watching his dad fix a computer. Soon after he took the screwdriver and tried to poke around the computer too.
  He would also sit and watch me cook. Today while I was cooking in the kitchen, he was in the dining area with a spoon and a tiny metal sauce plate pretending to cook too.
  He will sometimes watch tv and pretend to laugh (even though nothing funny is on). I guess that's what he observes us doing - watch tv and laugh.
  He has seen me use the company chop on my customer receipts. He knows where it is kept. My drawers now need a lock!
  
• The two words he says very clearly are "park" (to go to the park) and "neh-neh" (human milk dispensers). He will also say "booh" for book. The other night I was sitting across him from the dining table and he stood up and leaned against the table and said "mama." I was elated thinking he was calling me. I went over to him to pick him up but he didn't even look at me. He kept saying "mama, mama." You know what he wanted? BANANA. Sigh! banana/mama, come on boy, don't do this to me?? :)
• Likes to sit on daddy's lap during "makan" (eating) time.
• I have to watch for his "poo-poo" face so I can whisk him off to the bathroom. Doesn't seem to have a problem sitting on the bowl.
• It's easier to understand what he wants now coz' he will point and then nod for yes or shake his head for no.
  
• Still has to suck 'nen-nen' to sleep.
  
  

Featured In the Newspaper

Just excited to inform everyone that my blogs and online children's bookshop is being featured on Monday's (5/5/08) New Strait Times, Tech&U section.

I wonder how the article will turn out. Ooooh, I'm excited!

Mother's Day Candy Bouquet

Keep your kids busy with this easy-to-do candy flower. Make a few and you will have a blooming candy bouquet. All you need is some lollipops, colored paper, scissors, glue and ribbon. I know some of you mothers out there probably say you don't eat lollipop, that it's too childish or you're cutting down on sweets. I think it's still the perfect gift:

• Cheap


• Straight from the heart


• Lollipop makes your kid happy


• Their special written messages (or scribblings, depending on the age of your child) makes your heart all fuzzy.

Click here for step by step instructions on how to make this lollipop flower.
Here is more stuff on candy bouquets.
For those with an entrepreneur spirit, why not think about starting your own candy bouquet business.

Book Giveaway Contest Ending Tonight

Just to let you all know that the Book Giveaway Contest will be ending tonight. Current results can be seen at the sidebar. These ladies have been working very hard. Kudos! I feel your spirit.
Anybody else going to sprint for the finish line? Remember, you just need to get into the top 3 spots.

Turmeric Chicken

I was cracking my head the other day thinking what to do with the chicken I had thawed out. I was in the mood to do something different. Well, different from my usual ginger chicken or chicken with mushroom. I decided to try kunyit" (turmeric) chicken and it actually turned out quite nice. The family gives it a thumbs up so here is the recipe.

Ingredients:

• Chicken - In this case I used about 1/2 chicken.
• 2-3 potatoes, quartered.
• 1-2 large onions, quartered.
• Garlic - chopped to tiny pieces. How much garlic depends on how much you like it. I love it so I put in plenty.
• Ginger - Just a little bit, cut into strips.
• 3-4 serai (lemon grass).
• Turmeric powder.
• Salt and sugar.

How I cooked it?

• Rubbed a little salt on the chicken.
• Then used about 2 tsp of turmeric powder and rubbed that over the chicken too.
• Left the chicken to season for about 1 hour (or more).
• Boiled the potatoes until cooked. Set it aside.
• Put oil in the work and fry the garlic, onion, ginger and 'serai' until fragrant.
• Add in the chicken and stir fry for a few minutes.
• Pour in enough water for the chicken to simmer.
• Add salt and sugar to taste.
• Close the wok with a lid and let simmer till gravy thickens a bit.
• Just before you turn off the fire, add in the cooked potatoes and stir it around.

p.s.: Even though I pounded the ends of the 'serai' to get the flavor out, my DH says the 'serai' taste is still too mild. Any ideas on how to get the 'serai' flavor out more?

p.s.s.: Did you know that research shows turmeric to be a spice that has antibiotic, antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, anticarcinogenic and antimicrobial properties? Some of the benefits when ingesting it are improving blood circulation, purifying the blood, strengthens the digestive system and improving the liver function.

It can also help clear up acne problem. Use it externally by making a paste and applying it on the acne. Leave it on for 20-30 minutes and then rinse off with lukewarm water. Here are some options on how to make the paste:

• Ground fresh turmeric root with yogurt.
• Turmeric powder mixed with mint juice.
• Grounded neem leaves with turmeric powder.
• Add 1tsp of turmeric powder, 1tsp of sandalwood powder and milk.

Beware of the yellow stain in leaves behind. Some say cleansing milk will get rid of the stain.

Edutainment Software Mia's Reading Adventures: The Bugaboo Bugs!

Some of you may know that I do pre-school homeschooling. I don't really follow a set of syllabus. I do a lot of reading to my children and also whatever workbooks I managed to get from book sales. Usually I follow the syllabus from the workbooks. Can't go much wrong there. I also look for educational activities on the internet, especially on topics that my children are interested in. There are also interactive websites such as Starfall.com and Iknowthat.com that my children enjoy playing. Another teaching tool I use are educational softwares. To date the software most enjoyed are the Jumpstart ones.



Now there's are new edutainment software called Mia Reading: The Bugaboo Bugs!
"Edutainment" sounds like a good way to learn - education + entertainment. We all know children learn best when it's in the form of playing.



The Adventure
Basically the software is about a little mouse (the heroin of the adventure) trying to get rid of the Bugaboo Bugs from her house. Her family has lived there for generations and now, these Bugaboo Bugs put them in danger of being evicted. You see, these horrible bugs might cause the humans to call the exterminators and then, everyone including Mia, will be out on the street.

The Education
Target = 5-9 year olds (Perfect for my no.1 and 2)
The educational activities are integrated into the story.
The following is what your children will learn:

• associating images to words
• adverbs
• phonics
• rhymes
• spelling
• sentence structure
• vocabulary
• reading comprehension
• word recognition
• etc... etc...etc...

How difficult is it?
The software supports the school's curriculum from kindergarten to grade three. There are 12 reading and writing skills activities with 4 distinct levels of difficulty. So I guess you can say it is a progressive way to learn to read. Of course with all computer activities, children must be given a time limit. Educational software should be a supplementary teaching tool. It serves as a good break from mundane worksheets and boring homework.

To see screen shots of the game, visit this Kutoka's page.

Egg Taufu with Minced Pork

I'll come right out and confess that I totally dislike taufu. The only kind of taufu I will eat is this egg taufu. Here is how I cook it:

Ingredients:

• Egg taufu (slice into little round circles)
• Chinese mushrooms (soak in hot water till soft then cut into thin slices)
• Minced pork (For my Muslim friends, I'm sure chicken would be good too)
• Garlic (minced into small pieces)
• Salt
• Sugar
• Hoisin sauce
• Oyster sauce
• Light soy sauce
• 1 egg
• Cilantro ("Yin sai")

How to cook it?

1. Add oil and fry the egg taufu first.
2. Remove the taufu and set aside.
3. Add oil and fry the garlic until turning brown.
4. Add in minced pork and stir fry.
5. Add a pinch of salt, little bit sugar and about 1-2 tsp of soy sauce.
6. Add hoisin sauce and oyster sauce.
7. Fry until it's cooked.
8. Add in chinese mushroom.
9. Pour in water to make gravy (how much water depends on how much gravy you want).
10. Let it simmer a few minutes.
11. Crack in one egg. Stir it around.
12. When about done, just add back the already cooked taufu.
13. Serve with some cilantro on top (if you don't like cilantro, you can just forget this option. I like it and I think it makes the dish look good).
    

The Huggies Cleanteam

Have you heard? The Huggies Cleanteam is hitting the streets. Yup, not the "A-team" but the "Cleanteam." Their mission is to help parents establish good hygiene in children.

What exactly is the Huggies Cleanteam?
They are a bunch of cartoon characters each representing a specific cleaning product.

• Daphne Dolphin - untangles hair
• Sammy Snake - extra conditioning shampoo
• Henry Hippo - hand soap (with lights that blink!)
• Freddy Flamingo - flushable moist wipes
• Billy Bison - bath wash
• Wally Whale - disposable wash cloth
• Carley Crab - cleansing cloth

These characters work together as a team. Watch the video and you'll know what I'm talking about. The idea is to make washing up look like fun.

If this is the Cleanteam, then my DH is the General. With regards to cleanliness, he and I have opposite upbringing. His mom is a clean freak (hate to say but it's true). Curtains are washed every week, floor is swept and mopped everyday, entire house is spick and span with not a sign of dust. My mom? Well, she's not a slob but cleanliness was not pressed upon us hardcore. Floor was mopped once, maybe twice a week. Dust is not an uncommon sight. She would do occasional spring cleanings. Her time was mostly spend out of the house anyway.

Currently in our home, DH demands a crumbless floor and strongly advocates a dustless environment. Kids have their orders to wash legs and hands immediately after playing outside. DH's attitude has instilled in the children that cleanliness is important. KokoD hates having his hands dirty. Every instance of slightly dirty hands, he runs to the sink. When he is sticky, he takes a bath himself. We do not have to call him. Even babyD has picked up a clean habit - he always asks for the toothbrush when we bath.

As for me? I'm still striving to live up to my DH clean standards. I still wait for mildew to appear before I start washing the bathroom walls. There has to be visible dirt on the fans before I clean them. Curtains are washed maybe once a year. BUT I do sweep and mop the floor everyday :)

Mamas Bag of Tricks:

• Teaching cleanliness to children begins with the parents attitude and the state of the home.

Note to DH:
Thank you General. Even though you do stress us out once in a while with your clean freakiness, you do help keep us in line.

Children Attached to Maid

Having a maid has become normal practice in a Malaysian household. Therefore, part of being an effective parent here usually includes handling maid issues.

We've heard many horror maid stories -- maid run away, maid abuse children, maid don't do duties well, maid seduce husbands, maid stealing, maid having boyfriends etc.... These, of course, causes undue stress on parents. So, you'd think that having a good maid would be a blessing. Unfortunately, even good maids are a cause of concern for some parents.

Recently, I came across a working mother who voiced her dissatisfaction that her child seem to be closer to the maid than to her. I'm sure many of you have experienced before (or are currently experiencing) that jealous feeling when your child is more obedient to the maid, choose to spend time with the maid and stick to the maid even when you are around.

Just let me share some thoughts (and I hope I don't step on anybody's toes).

• First, remember that YOU created that situation. Your child did not ask for a maid. If you ask your child, I'm sure they would be 110% in support of you staying home instead of the maid. Therefore, the choice of having a maid to act as a caretaker on your behalf, is your choice. I know some mothers cannot afford to stay home. But that is not the point here. The point is, you put a maid in your home, so be prepared to accept that your child is very likely going to have a close relationship with this caretaker.
• Be realistic, you are not there for your children 24-7. You may say that you are the main caretaker of your children. However, in their waking hours, exactly how many hours are you around to take care of them? Probably not as many hours as the maid. Plus, children learn that mommy hired "kakak" to take care of them. So, if they need something (food, entertainment, comfort), they will go to the person that they are used to. In your eyes, you are the main caretaker because you are the mother. But in your children's eyes, do they see you as that? Take some time to ponder what you are in your child's mind.
• Your child does not have an on/off button. If your child likes the maid, you cannot expect the child to switch off that feeling when mommy is around.
• Don't try to compete with your maid for your child's affections. If your child loves the maid, doesn't mean he/she loves you less. You will always be the mother. Children know that!
• Of course they are going to behave differently with you. Their time with you is limited. So you may encounter some "manja," cheekiness and playfulness. Also keep in mind that children may even misbehave to get their parent's attention. And boy, do they always want their parent's attention. I pray your children have not resorted to that trick.
• If you really cannot accept that your child is closer to the maid than you, than stop whining about it and start clocking in more hours with your child. You cannot work out of the home and expect the blessings of being a SAHM.

I invite working mothers that have a maid to share their experience and thoughts. Like I said, I hope I have not offended anyone. Tell me if you agree or disagree with me. And what would your advise be for such a mother?

First Attempt at Cupcake Decoration

Actually, the last posting on bithday cupcakes was not my first attempt at cupcake decoration. This picture really is my first try. It was done August last year. I kinda like this pink and white combination better. Anyway, the reason for this posting is to give you the icing recipe. It is different from the one I recently used. This one does not require shortening.

• 3 cups powdered sugar
• 1/3 cup butter
• 1 ½ tsp vanilla extract
• 2 tbs milk

Other resources:

1. Discover How To Have AnAwesome Children's Party! Get Both of These Children's Party Books... Almost 200 Party Craft Ideas and Almost 100 Party Game Ideas...
Click here to find out how these books can help you plan a great party.

2. Alex birthday party ideas.

Birthday Cupcakes

Since birthday cupcakes are the trend now (as oppose to birthday cakes), thought I'd try it out for my FIL's birthday. I'm not exactly the creative kind. As you can see, I need to improve in the artwork. Hahahah. I also need to get more icing dispenser thingy (what in the world do you call those?) I only have one and it looks like a big injection needle. I had 4 colours going - blue, red, green and white. As I only had one icing thingy, the colours started to get mixed up.

In the end, it was an exhausting affair.

Well, KokoD loved it and has placed an advanced order for his birthday. Thank goodness it is 4 months away. That gives me time to recuperate. Hahahah. To all professional cupcake decorators, I take my hats off to you.

By the way, I used Bake With Yan's ready muffin mix - blueberry and chocolate.

For the icing, I used the following recipe:

Thick Vanilla Frosting

• 1 cup shortening
• 2 teaspoons vanilla
• 3 cups powdered sugar (sifted)
• 3 tablespoons milk

Beat together shortening and vanilla with an electric mixer.

As you are beating, alternately add in powdered sugar and milk.

Cleaning Up Tips

I highly propose that the next hurricane be named after my children. I'm sure some of you encounter the same mini "hurricane disaster" in the home. My older two "hurricanes" don't do much damage anymore. In fact, they've been recruited to the "search-rescue-restore" team. The "hurricane" that is still running it's course is this one: Hurricane Danic


Sometimes, I just feel like it's no use cleaning up his mess straight away. Afterall, he is just going to make another mess. Even the two older kids are tired of always picking things up. When we point to a messy area, the first thing out of their mouth is "It's not my mess! It's babyD. He did it." or "Why do I have to clean up again. Naughty baby. Don't come into my room again."


So, how to handle little hurricanes in the home?

1. Teach the little fella where and how to put things back. This teaching is essential but not highly effective when they are still so little. Teaching them to clean up is more of a developmental training and not an immediate solution.
2. Accept the fact that your house will be messy. It's part of their growing up. Don't stress yourself out. Give yourself permission to have a messy house (once in a while, not all the time okay!) Instead of trying to stop the "hurricane" (which is usually futile), try working on damage control. Designate an area where they are allowed to mess (but must be cleaned up at the end of the day.)
3. Don't ever say "you mess, you clean." Children are quick to use it against you.
4. Encourage a group effort. Put on the timer for 1 minute and be a "group hurricane" rushing through the house to put things back. Make it a game to see who can be the fastest. Children love competition. If you have a lot of mess, than maybe put the timer for an extra few minutes. But keep the time short. That way, cleaning will feel more "do-able".