Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Creating Memories

First of all, just to report what happened after my little talks with the "Tai Kah Che" (meaning Big Sister, connotes a female gang leader) yesterday. IT WORKED ... but for how long? (Wah, why so pessimistic Ai Lian?). Karina's teacher reported that she was on a super good behavior today. She asked me in Cantonese "Cha man lei sang hei ah?" Meaning "Did you give her a shelling yesterday?" Heheheh. No lah. Talking nice works sometimes you know.

Ok, on to other stuff. Tried making some kuih bahulu today (recepi courtesy of Lia). Turned out ok except it wasn't the kind that melts in your mouth. I think the recepi called for too many eggs (sorry Lia, don't mean to be critisizing here).
Anyway, I just want to say I have a great family. Even though my baking isn't up to standard sometimes, they would eat like I was the greatest baker in the world. I asked Karina how was the "kuih". Her reply was "Yummy Mommy, mmmmmm... very good" (rubbing her tummy and giving me a look that could pass for an advertisement act.) So clever to make Mommy's heart soar.

Well, baking was not even in my vocabulary growing up. My mom didn't spend much time in the kitchen. I only started to bake after getting married. First it was to please my husband. Then after having children, motive changed to creating lasting memories for them. After reading other blogger's memes on "childhood memories related to food", there is no doubt that food can initiate lasting memories in a person. I know Min and Mumsgather will agree on this as their food blogs will make you nostalgic and drool at the same time.
I want my children to grow up remembering the wonderful aroma of bread, cakes, muffins etc... filling the house. I want them to remember that mom always took time to make a special birthday cake just for them. The other thing would be to let them get more involved in the baking (I have to improve in this area). I want them to remember the feeling of working side by side with their mom.

Other things DH and I do to create memories:
  • Reading together every night (read Strickland Gillilan's poem over at my bookshop). This is where we grab the opportunity to teach them important lessons in life. I want them to also remember those bonding moments when their mom would give them her full attention and really listen to what they have to say, no matter how silly and ridiculous the conversation may be.
  • Family outings. I'm sure everyone has memories on family outings. Of course we cannot always plan to go somewhere fantastic every week. So simple things like a walk in the park should not be underestimated.
  • Pasar malam (night market). I'm sure Karina will remember her weekly trips to the pasar malam. It's a mother-daughter thing. Damus comes along occasionally, but only when I have someone else to keep an eye on him. Even he knows where the goody stalls are located.
  • Family Home Evening. This is our once a week family time to discuss important matters and also to have fun together. I believe this time will be most important during their teenage years but the habit and idea of "family" must be cultivated when they are young.
  • Daddy play time. This is when the kiddos get to wrestle with daddy and play horsie too. You've got to do this when they are still small. Their "small" time is so very short. Before you know it, they are already so big and heavy. Then Daddy-play-time will have to morph into sport-time.
  • Family scripture reading and family prayers. We want them to remember that their parents had God in their lives and were greatly blessed. We want them to remember where to turn to in times of adversity.

No matter what we do, we are already creating memories in the lives of our children. The question would be if we are creating good memories, bad memories, lasting memories or short-term memories. After putting so much effort into my parenting role, I hope in the end I accomplish my goal of creating joy in their lives. I hope when my children are old and wrinkled (like where I am headed), they will have many good memories to look back upon and many good feelings to strive upon. That they will be happy and grateful to have had a mother like me. I know all this "wishful thinking" is in the palm of my hands now. It is in the small decisions I make e.g. to play with my child or to spend a few more minutes working, to talk with my child or to watch t.v. etc....

So I guess my thought for today would be... take time to evaluate where you are headed down memory lane. Will it be a lane where the sun shines, the birds sing and pretty flowers grow by the wayside? Or will it be a stony path, with grey clouds and "lalang" growing by the wayside?

1 comment:

  1. Ai Lian, my mom passed away when I was 10 but my memories of her are mostly food related of me helping her out in the kitchen. My mum loved to bake and sew. Do involve your little one as these form lasting memories.


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