Friday, May 11, 2007

Still Battling Sibling Rivalry

I guess I just have to accept that there will always be fights between K and Koko D. Sometimes, they can't even remember why they fought (roll eyes). The biting has not stopped. We have reminded Koko D over and over again that they are other ways to let out his anger. But I guess it happens so fast and the emotions are so strong that before he can stop himself, the teeth has attacked. Well, K has decided to play him at his game. The last few days she has bitten him back -- and it looks worse than the bite that she got from him. Hers are just teeth marks. His becomes bruises. Aiyoh!

And what about mommy? I've tried all sorts of tips that I've read about. Also it depends on my mood too on how I handle the problem. Sometimes I try to be a nice parent, sometimes I just let the monster mommy loose. Here are some ways I respond - good and bad:
  • Ignore - let them sort it out
  • Don't play judge
  • Let each have a turn to tell their story
  • Put them both in time-out then ask them what is the correct thing to do
  • Throw them both out of the house with the excuse that I will not allow their bad spirit create negative energy in the home environment
  • Scream at both of them - scold, scold, scold
  • Separate the two
  • Have both of them stop talking to each other -- the more they talk, the worse they make the situation
  • Threaten to send them each to a separate grandparent to live with -- you can't live together, DON'T
  • Send them to sleep - blame their crankiness on lack of sleep
  • Show sympathy to the injured party, ignore the other
  • Cane the one that's doing the attacking (yes, unfortunately we sometimes resort to canning but follow up with a heart-to-heart talk later)
And my latest trick - SING

When the fighting starts, I start singing the following church hymns:

I'm Trying To Be Like Jesus and Love At Home

Chorus to I'm Trying To Be Like Jesus:
Love one another as Jesus loves you
Try to show kindness in all that you do
Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought
For these are the things Jesus taught

First four lines to Love At Home:
There is beauty all around
When there's love at home
There is joy in every sound
When there's love at home

How do the kids respond?
"Okay mommy, okay mommy. STOP singing."
Hahahahah. Wah, my singing so bad meh?

Even though we parents would like our children to always be kind and love one another, we have to accept that fights will always exist. But it is a goal to shoot for. However, it will take lots of patience and many, many, many firm reminders.


  1. I used to have the biting problem with no.1 when she is little. It got worst when she start attacking her cousins and such. Now the sibilings rivalry is the mommy la (my sis and me). We also start to fight as who and who is right. Bad! That was past and was relieved no. 2 and no. 3 doesn't bite!

  2. Does singing really work? Lemme try it out one of these days. I can imagine their little puzzled looks as if mummy has gone beserk, he he......

  3. Mmm...I haven't reached this stage yet, but when my boy fight with my godson, I just let them solve it out. But most of the time, the little one will end up in crying and ended the fight. :P

  4. You do what you gotta do...right now I am trying to ignore as much as possible and only step in at serious injury mode.

    But isn't it cute when they hug each other?

  5. a&a'smom13 May, 2007 23:09

    Hey I cld have written this!

  6. Hi you've got a tag from me, check here:


  7. ya sometimes doing the extraordinary like singing really gets their attention!

  8. never try singing...should try & c wats my princesses response... :P

  9. Hijackqueen:
    So mommy also bite? Hahaha. Just kidding.

    Health freak mommy:
    Let me know what their reaction is? It will be something they don't expect.

    Yes, unfortunately crying is always involved.

    When they get bigger, getting them to hug gets tougher.

    a&a's mom:
    You too huh.


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