When I Wasn't Looking...

He quietly kept himself busy with my lipstick.

His sister's bedsheet looked a little pale, so he made sure it got some color.

The wall looked kinda empty. He decided it need a little something too.

"I'm just expressing my creativity. Why you all scolding me?"

Actually, he got some smeared on his face too but daddy quickly washed it all away before mommy got a chance to get her camera. Humph! Spoil sport. So, what are Mamas Bag of Tricks this time?

• Grow eyes all around your head for 360 degrees vision (we already scream like a monster, might as well look like one too. Hahahah)
• Tie your kid up when you have to take a bath. (This probably constitutes child abuse.)
• Lock up your lipstick. Putting them up high does not work at the toddler stage coz' they can climb like monkeys.
  
• Learn how to wash out lipstick stains.
• Just tell them NO, and hope they listen.
  

How I Got My Toddler To Nap

I gave him... a bucket of water and different kind of cups.

He got himself all wet. Instead of wasting the water, I taught him to water the plants instead.

So off he went, to and fro from bucket to plants. Learning to scoop water and walking carefully so he won't spill any.

Some plants got more than they needed.

Dig down deep to scoop the last bit of water.

No more? never mind. Baby knows how to turn on the tap. Let's fill er' up again.

Not long after this exercise, baby is off to la-la land. Mission accomplished. Unfortunately, the nap took place at 5:30pm. So you can imagine what kind of night we had.

Mamas Bag Of Tricks:

• You don't always have to roll out the children's swimming pool. A bucket of water is simple but still provides lots of fun. Bottles and cups help in developing baby's fine motor skill.
  
• It's okay to take the diaper off when they are playing with water.
  

FREE BAKING WORKSHOP

CloveTWO has teamed up with Malaysian Institute of Baking (MIB) in a contest to offer a FREE BAKING WORKSHOP!
Am I interested? Heck ya! But to be among the 5 winners, I first have to convince the judge and jury why I should be picked. So here it goes, my top 10 reasons why I'm putting my hand up and screaming "pick me! pick me!"

1. I am absolutely NOT allergic to baking powder.
2. Sweet buns with hot dog filling is my son's favorite. Please teach me 'sifu'.
   
3. I am NOT afraid to get fat. Let's indulge in chocolate.
4. I think my kids have suffered enough eating their mom's not-so-perfect baking endeavors. But they are such wonderful kids to still eat them and say they are nice.
   
5. I need to get away from the kids for a few hours. I need some "me time".
   
6. I love the smell of a bakery. It's like aromatherapy.
7. I want my friends to say "Wah! You so clever to bake now ah."
8. My husband says I need to upgrade my baking skills.
9. FREE & EXPERT GUIDANCE. A combination that doesn't come by often. Perfect for a "kiam siap" (kedekut / miser) person like me.
10. I will give you a free golf lesson if you pick me. Hahahahah. Just kidding. Cannot bribe the judges right? Okaylah, pick me because I really want to learn and the Malaysian Institute of Baking is the right place to learn. Serious okay! I need professional help.
    

Well, I hope my top 10 list will make it into the contest's top 5 list.

If anybody else want to join this contest, I strongly discourage it. The less the competitors, the higher my chances mah. Hahahah. But if you are nice and leave me a comment here, maybe I will choose you to go with me (if I win lah). Yes, winners get to bring a friend. So, pray that I win okay?

Recognizing Early Signs of Autism

Image by Norma Desmond via FlickrThere seems to be more and more children these days with developmental and learning problems. Have the risks increased or are we just getting better at diagnosing them? Autism is one such disorder that seems to be on the rise. That's why parents these days are so diligent in keeping track of their children's developmental milestones. We want to be assured that our children are normal and healthy. And if not, we understand the importance of early intervention. The quicker we get help, the higher the chances of our child improving.

So, do you know the early signs of autism?

Autistic children basically have problems in these areas:

• Lack of communication and language problems - very quiet, limited vocabulary, delayed speech, don't smile or coo as babies.
  
• Social impairment - they are in their own world, problems with eye contact and facial expression, unresponsive when you try to connect with them.
• Repetitive body movements and behaviors such as hand flapping.
  
• They may show a fanatical obsession over a certain topic or fixate on certain parts of an object. For example: staring at the ceiling fan or hours turning a switch on and off.
• Hyper sensitive to touch, sound, smells or taste - some don't like to be hugged or are irritated by certain types of clothing. Loud sounds can be distressing too.
  
• Cannot stray away from routines

These are just some signs to look out for. However, autism can be manifested at different levels of intensity and there are different types too. Yes, it just makes the disorder all the more complicated. There are 5 disorders commonly categorized as being on the autism spectrum.

• Classic autism
• Asperger's symdrome
• Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS)
• Rett Syndrome
• Childhood Disintegrative Disorder

If you find your child displaying some of these early sign of autism, take action quickly.
More information when you get THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO AUTISM.

For Malaysians, you can seek more help at NASOM TeleAutism.

Cupcake Design

If you are interested in cupcake design but don't know where to start, just take a look at this video. It shows you basic techniques that are simple for beginners to do (like me!).





As mentioned in the video, this would be fun to do with the kids too.
Here are more ideas on cupcake design and cake decorating. The membership site provides you hundreds of step-by-step online videos, how-to articles, ideas, tips & tricks. Perfect for you if you are thinking of making it your hobby or even starting your own cupcake business.

Making Cupcakes Again

I had a service auction at church last Saturday. The sisters were asked to offer a "service" and others would bid for it. So, what could I offer? I settled for decorated cupcakes. That gave me the opportunity to kill 2 birds with 1 stone - cupcakes for bidding and cupcakes to entertain my children. So how did I do this time? You judge for yourself.

If you are wondering how to keep your kids busy during the holidays or maybe considering activities for a birthday party or playgroup, try a cupcake decorating session. I'm sure they will love it!

Luvs Diapers $5-off Coupon

Do you recognize this lady? She is mom-comedienne Anita Renfroe. Still don't ring a bell? She's known for her “Total Momsense” song to the tune of the William Tell Overture that became a YouTube sensation. I really enjoyed that song and I know many moms did too. Almost every mother was saying "you gotta listen to this song...."

Well, she is now the spokesperson for Luvs diapers. If you're Malaysian like me, you've probably never heard of this brand of diaper before. So, just a quick summary about these diapers -- they offer premium leakage protection for less than the pricey brands. In other words, you get the premium features without paying extra. Bottom line -- it's economical and efficient (and I get to try them for FREE. Yay!).
Well, back to Anita Renfroe being the spokesperson for Luv diapers. She has written another comedic song and video, a sequel to the original “Mom-sense” jingle. AND you get a peek of the video here on my blog. This video won't go live until June 25th. The song/video is about a day in the life of a mom and all the things she juggles with family life and managing a home. It's fresh, irreverent, timely and funny.



AND another treat for you-- Get $5 off your next purchase of Luvs diapers.
Head over to http://luvs.com on 25th June 2008 to grab those limited coupons. It's available on a first-come, first-served basis. Mark that date on your calendar!!!
*Sorry, offer only for US residents.

Recycling Woes

I recently posted about frugal lifestyle, but there is another lifestyle change - green lifestyle.

I've been trying to recycle plastics, aluminum and glass but I tell you, the g'ment don't make it easy. I put these items aside and when it comes time to discard them, I have to go hunting for recycling bins. I used to take them to the Kg. Tunku post office but the bins are no more there. And since I moved house, I have not seen one recycle bin anywhere here or near here.

And what's up with these recycling bins? They are so small. Sometimes there is no more place and I'd have to put the trash on the outside of the bin. I would give them to the dumpster truck but I'm not sure if they recycle them. The ones that come by my house is just a lorry and the rubbish is just thrown to the back (not sorted out). At least in PJ they use real dumpster trucks and I see the trash collectors trying to sort out the stuff a bit. But I believe that is for their own financial gain right?

DH mentioned how in Japan they would designate different days to collect plastics, glass etc.... Is this true? Anyway, I just think it is ridiculous how we are encouraged to recycle but not much is done to make it easy.

Anyway, this is what I do to teach my kids about recycling or living green:

• Don't throw away paper that has only been printed on one side. Can use the other side for scribbling and drawing.
  
• Throw organic trash (like vegetable ends, garlic and onion peels, fruit) into the garden or make compost.
• Turn off the water when brushing teeth. Teach them where the water from the tap comes from. Young children don't usually think about limited water supply. Give them the bigger picture and point out those big water tanks.
  
• Teach them to turn off lights, fan, TV, radio etc.... My kids always ask us to turn on the air conditioner. They don't understand that air conditioner uses lots of energy. I think I need to introduce the meter box to them and show them the running numbers and tell them what it means.
  

So, what ways do you live green?

A Frugal Lifestyle

With the cost of living going up, up, up, the call has been made to change our lifestyle to one that is more frugal. So, what kind of changes can be made? Well, that is the point of this tag. Mumsgather wants to know, but I think this tag originated from Cuddly Family. She too has specifically called out my name to participate.

Well, truthfully, my frugal lifestyle started like 2 years ago.

• Moved away from the city where the rent is cheaper but the house don't get smaller.
  
• Work from home. Don't need to travel unnecessarily. We try not to go out more than 2x a week.
  
• Home-preschooling. Kindergarten these days are just wayyyyy to expensive.
  
• Not signing up kids for 101 tuition and activities. No need to pay extra fees and no need to chauffeur them all over the place. There's plenty they can learn at home (if you take the time to teach them.) Try not to be overly "kiasu."
  
• Shop and pay bills over the internet.
  
• Switched to modern cloth diapers.
• Eat at home. I get to practice my cooking skills too.
• Cultivate a garden that is edible. We have 4-5 papaya trees, 2 banana trees and many mulberry trees. Plenty of herbs to make "leong char" (cooling drink). 3 neem trees to help in cleansing blood (but only FIL and DH drinks it. Urgh! Too bitter for me). Vegetables not so much these days, but we used to have long beans, brinjal, ladies fingers, chillies and bok choy. Tomato is difficult to plant. Even if you've cemented up your entire porch, you can plant some of these in pots. It's time to switch from being a consumer to being a producer!
• Air conditioner in the room conked out long ago. We didn't bother to replace it and just use fan. The only other room with air conditioner is DH's office. That one we use only when really "beh tahan" (going to die from the heat).
  
• Get an energy saving plug to reduce electricity bill.
• Turn off main switches for tv, radio and all electrical appliances when not using. Don't just leave them on stand-by mode.
• No more using condense milk for making milo. Switched to using powdered milk. Actually, we also don't buy milo anymore. Not since they raised the price. Not only expensive but somehow the chocolate also taste like it's been watered down. We've been drinking Tesco's house brand "ChocoMalt" and it's okay.
• Make sure kids always carry their water bottle when we go out. That way don't have to buy drinks whenever they are thirsty. I also switched to steel water bottles. No more worry about plastic poisoning. They also last longer. The plastic ones always end up leaking or broken.
  

What more can I do to be frugal? Err... hate to admit it but there needs to be less consumption of junk food in my house. I believe I'm the biggest culprit (*face going red*). Apart from that, I think I'm already very frugal.

Okay, now to pass the "how would you change your lifestyle" baton to:

• Sasha
• Vickylow
• Anggie
• Hijack Queen
  

Bunga Tongkeng Soup

This "bunga tongkeng" is sure hard to find. My mom bought this from Seremban the other day. The only place I know that sells this was a stall at SS2 Chao Yang pasar malam (night market). But that was 2 years ago. Haven't been there since I moved, so I don't know if they still sell it.

Anyway, this bunga tongkeng (sorry, don't know what it's called in English or Chinese) is good for making soup. Mom said the lady that sold it mentioned it could also be fried with egg.


Here is the soup recipe.
Ingredients:

• Bunga Tongkeng
• Minced pork (flavor it with a little salt, soy sauce and oyster sauce)
  
• Garlic (some minced and some whole)
• Onions (some sliced and one quartered)
• Salt
  

How to cook?

1. Boil water in the pot
2. Fry the minced garlic and onion slices till golden and then add into the soup.
   
3. Put the bunga tongkeng into the soup.
4. Add some garlic pips and quartered onions.
   
5. Drop in little scoops (or balls) of minced pork.
   
6. At the end, add salt to taste.

I believe you can use pork ribs ("phai kuat") to replace the minced pork. Mom says bunga tongkeng is good for the eyes. Sorry I can't quote any medical or science guru on this. So you'll just have to take my mom's word on this.

If anyone knows where in PJ/KL you can get this bunga tongkeng, let me know.

Want To Know About Homeschooling In Malaysia?

If you are one of those parents who are not happy with the current school education and what to know more about homeschooling, then make some time this Saturday (14th June 2008) and join Chong Wai Leng and gang who are giving free talks on the subject.

Venue:
Financial Care Center.
1, Jalan PJU 5/3B, Damansara Perdana, 47820 Petaling Jaya

Map available at http://www.familyplace.com.my
Please email: info@familyplace.com.my to register (state no.of people coming)

Program:
2.00 pm: Registration
3.00 pm: Why We Need Alternatives in Education: K V Soon
3.30 pm: Learning Beyond Schooling: Bringing Out Children's True Potentials:
Chong Wai Leng
3.45 pm: Homeschooling as a viable option: David Tan & Sook Ching
4.15 pm: Questions & Answers
5.30 pm: Session Ends.

Wish I could go but I have a church activity whereby we are making cream cheese tarts to give to the fathers the next day for Father's Day.

One Way To Keep Your Kids Busy

This baby cot was first used to "cage" baby, especially when I needed to cook and stuff. But then, he started to climb over the raised railing and that got dangerous coz' he would fall over head first. So I lowered the railing and the big kids started to have fun with it.
Well, if you ever need to keep your kids busy, give them some blankets and have them make a tent. I'm sure you've done this sort of thing when you were younger. I know I have. There's just something intriguing about crawling into covered spaces.
So, if you can't camp outside, just camp inside first.

Parenting An Autistic Child

One of the most pervasive myths that surround autism is that a child who has it will never show affection and can’t accept getting affection from anyone. There have been literally piles of stories of parents taking their child to a psychologist and the doctor telling the parents that your child can’t possibly be autistic because he gives you a hug now and then. While this opinion is just flat wrong, studies have shown that autistic children do process sensory touch differently than a non-autistic child and that this is where the myth that autistic children don’t like to be touched comes from.

Autism and the way it affects kids really runs the gamut from light to severe. An excellent point to remember when dealing with an autistic child is that every single autistic child is different and will react to almost everything differently. Here are some tips for showing your autistic child affection, and remember, your experience may vary.

• Trial and error. For some kids with more severe autism, a simple, random hug can be sensory overload. They can become agitated, upset and even violent if they are touched without prior warning. You will probably need to have a trial and error approach when it comes to hugging and touching your autistic child. Some methods may be responded to in a positive way, other ways won’t be. You just have to try and see.
  
  
• Let the child come to you. If you think your autistic child needs a hug, instead of rushing into his personal space and just taking one, speak to the child, bend down to his/her level and open your arms. Smile and let the child know that they are loved and see what the response is. If they don’t come running in for a hug, don’t be offended, it may just not have been the right time for the child.
  
  
• Try hand signals. If your child is too sensitive to hugs or touches to show affection, you can try positive reinforcement in addition to hand singles. Things like a simple thumbs up accompanied by a smile and some positive comments can let the child know they are loved and what they did was good. You can also offer the child a chance to hug during these situations and they might just take you up on it.
  
  
• Make sure everyone is on the same page. If you, the parents, are starting to make progress on getting your autistic child to be more affectionate, you don’t need a sibling, teacher or grandparent who doesn’t know or understand your child’s boundaries messing up all of your hard work. If you’ve begun to implement an affection program with your autistic child, make sure everyone who would possibly try to hug or touch him/her knows the rules. Consistency and repetition are crucial to autistic kids, and this applies to a situation like this, as well.
  

Trying to figure out a puzzling condition like autism can be a lifelong challenge. For many parents, the affection issue may be the biggest. But with patience and learning to go by the child’s cues and not your own, you will be able to connect with your child in a deep and meaningful way.

Concerned About Autism?

Learn The Facts About Autism & What Really Works Now.
There are many more resources and information about diagnosing, controlling and treating Autism in:
The Essential Guide To Autism

Personalize Your Cards and Announcements

When I was in the U.S., I would get wedding invitations and birth announcements from friends. I can tell you that there are much nicer than the ones we Malaysians send out. The reason being their cards and announcements are always personalized with photographs. So much so they become keepsakes. Yes, I've kept some in my journal. I mean you wouldn't throw away a photograph of a good friend would you?

Just imagine receiving a birth announcement like this:

or

* Pictures taken from Izzyprints. You can order your cards online from them and get them within 2-3 working days.

How cute is that? I'm sure every parent is eager to show off their little bundle of joy. Plus, friends always ask to see pictures of the cutie pie when you tell them that you've delivered. Now after 3 kids, I wonder why I never send out these personalized birth announcements. I guess it's just not our culture but I'm sure this trend will catch on here. Just like how digital scrapbooking is catching on like wild fire. Parents here have grown to appreciate the artistic value of combining pictures and journaling.

I think personalizing party invitations are a good idea too. Not just children's birthday parties, but any party. For example, if you are having a Christmas get-together, you can do a 2-1 card: greeting and invitation card rolled into one. Send friends and relatives a card that includes a picture of your family. Show them how your family is growing -- growing in number, growing in height, growing in maturity and maybe growing around the belly too :)

With today's technology, I don't see why we should stick to boring cards. Just look at blogs, the ones that are nice to read are ones that have pictures right? So the next card or announcement I send out, will definitely be a little more personal. Make sure if you get one from me, you stick it on your fridge yea?

Talent Show Idea

This cute tadpole song is really cute. My children love it to bits. It also seems like a cute thing to do for a children's talent show. So, if you are searching for an idea, try this.

Natural Migraine Relief

If you are a migraine sufferer like me, I'm sure you will be interested in learning of this free and natural migraine relief. It was introduced to me by my step-mom. See the pine plant below?

(Mine here is still a baby plant)

Sorry, I don't know what it's called. Looks like a Christmas tree but the leaves are soft, not the pokey pine needle kind. It's quite common here. Heck, you may even have it at your house or neighbourhood and didn't know it's medicinal value.

Anyway, just boil the leaves with water and drink it, like tea. My step-mom drinks it everyday (instead of just plain water) and she says she hasn't had a migraine for a year already. Her neighbour takes it to combat high blood pressure.

As for me, I haven't been so diligent in boiling it everyday. I should do it at least a few times a week. But so far I've drunk this pine tea whenever I get an attack, like today. Boil about 1-2 litres of it, not just one cup. It does help to either eliminate or at least lesson the headache.

So if you have migraine like me, give it a try and let me know if it works for you too.

p.s. How is this related to parenting? Who can be an effective parent with a head that feels like it's going to crack open? Definitely not me.

Father's Day Craft

The children were restless so I had them work on the Father's Day gift. Decided to do something really simple - a card with service coupons attached.

Ended up only my girl did the card. My son was more interested in folding the little doggies and writing messages under the ears. Poor daddy has a drawer full of doggies now. We had to actually stop him from making more.
There are 4 service coupons attached: watering the plants, washing daddy's dirty plate, taking care of baby and cleaning the house.

Doing the craft is quite educational. To decorate the front of the card, I had to teach her how to create a border that is equal in size: how to use the ruler and measure, make marks then draw the lines. Also when she wrote "Happy Father's Day", she was writing it too small. Had to tell her stuff like defining the space she wants to fill and then estimating how big the words should be. These sort of things we adults do without thinking. But for a child, it needs to be taught. Anyway, in the end she did a pretty decent job.

So, what do you guys have planned for Father's Day?

Getting Kids Into The Kitchen

Many parents shoo their children out of the kitchen. But in actual fact, getting kids into the kitchen is very beneficial for them and for you. Cooking is a skill that should not be overlooked. And I'm not just talking about teaching your daughters how to cook, but also your sons.
For young children, they are many hidden lessons in the kitchen - math, science, reading. You can also build up their motor skills when you teach them to crack eggs, help do the whipping or stirring, kneading, rolling, cutting, pouring, peeling, etc.... Not forgetting passing down knowledge you don't find in books such as the fastest way to peel garlic, how to counteract spiciness, what is the best soy sauce to use etc....

When I was in primary school, I joined the Brownies. I remember one activity that involved cooking. One girl cooked French Toast and it was really good. I recall wondering "where did she learn to do that?" I was quite amazed at her capability.

Well, I've decided that I need to rope in my daughter into the kitchen more often. I've been inspired by some moms out there who cook with their children every Saturday. I think this is a wonderful idea. Not only do the children learn, but it's also a great way to bond and spend some quality time together.

Here's K trying not to burn the french toast.

First time I'm trusting her with a knife.

Edible? Baby thinks so. It turned out great.

An important part of cooking is learning to prepare the ingredients. I had K peel garlic for me today. A whole bunch of them. She was a great help and freed up some time for me to clean the fans in the house. She learned something today -- peeling garlic is sticky. Oh, she learned another thing -- your hands smell of garlic even after you wash :)

BTW, K is going to be 7 years old this year. I believe you can start getting them into the kitchen at about 5 years old.

How I Motivated My Child To Excel In Exams

Last Thursday, my girl came back from school and she was screaming "Mommy, Mommeeeeee" all the way from the outside gate until inside the house. I thought she was being chased by some bad guys or something. Actually, she was screaming because she scored 100% in her science paper. She was very excited.

I'm not telling you guys this to brag (okay, brag a little lah). But just wanted to discuss about ways you motivate your children to excel in exams. Before her recent exams, my girl was saying that it is impossible to get 100%. However, I know it is within her potential to achieve 100%. So to get her a little motivated, I said I'd reward her RM5 for every 100% she got.

So, now my question is: Do you think it is a good idea to motivate your children with money????

I remember when I was in school, I had friends who had promises of oversea trips if they did well in exams. Me? My mom would say "you should ask what you will get if you DON'T do well." Hahaha. She said it jokingly.

But I believe money can be a good motivator. The trick is not to offer too much coz' then you overshadow the intrinsic reward. You still want the "feel good" factor to be greater than the external factor.

Let me share with you how my father encouraged me during my golf practices. Yes, sometimes he would use money too but it was so my practice sessions stayed interesting. I would earn money for every birdie, double three, double 5, and trot. But I would also have to pay for double bogeys. Sorry if you don't understand the golf terms. Bottom line is, it worked for me. It wasn't a lot of money but just the token of it was good enough to keep me striving.

Anyway, that was my strategy with my girl. I just wanted her to strive for the 100% by attaching a token to it. Now that she knows it is not impossible, I think I will reduce the reward (or else I might go "pokai"). Hahahah.

Baby Milestone: 17 Months

Baby is starting to show signs of independence. He now demands for his own bowl and spoon during eating times. He tries hard to get the food onto his spoon and then into his mouth. Sometimes he is successful with the former, but not the latter :) When the process gets to difficult, there is always the backup plan... use fingers to eat.
What does mommy do? Tell daddy to close his eyes coz' he cannot stand mess. Hahaha. Also to cut down on clean up time, I put a newspaper under the bowl and also newspaper on the floor to catch the ones that "get away" or "fly away". I must give some credit to daddy. He has been very patient in "coaching" baby to eat. He will take baby's hand and show him how to scoop up the food. The most important part is teaching baby to lean forward as he puts the food into his mouth. That way if he misses, the food will drop into the bowl/plate. So remember, bring the mouth to the spoon and not the other way around.

This stage of wanting to eat by himself is a real test for us. I realize that baby and us have different agendas. Here we are focused on getting baby to eat. Whereas, baby is happy that he has been given the freedom to PLAY with food. He is more focused on what he can do with the utensil in his hand - push the food around, trying to cut the food, tossing the food, occasionally using it to put food in his mouth, trying to scoop food from your plate etc.... It's a tough stage but it's vital that we don't give up. It's easier to just continue feeding them ourselves. Easier BUT not beneficial.

BabyD at this age has also mastered the art of getting pity. When I scold him, he will cry tragically to his daddy. When daddy scolds him, he will come running to me. When we both scold him, he will seek out jie-jie (big sister). He will put his hands to his eyes and motion for you to wipe away his tears. When you ask him what happened, he will complain in his own baby way (coz' he can't talk yet). Fantastic this baby. The other day at church, he went from one auntie to another, pointing to a tiny mosquito bite on his hand. With his cutie pie face, you can imagine the pampering he got.

Oh baby, baby. You make life very interesting... and exhausting.

Fill Your Love Tank For Effective Parenting

This is what I probably looked like to my kids yesterday.

This is how I felt yesterday.

I admit it, yesterday was not a good day for me. The cleaning, cooking, washing, mothering etc... just got the better of me. I just felt unappreciated and uncared for. I was mean and just couldn't find the strength to GIVE anymore. Yup, I wanted to be selfish and think of ME for a change. Inside my head I was scheming how to runaway from the house (but I didn't). Sigh! It really was an "ARRRGH!" day. I think many parents out there know what I mean.

My poor kids felt their mommy didn't love them anymore. I even got a note from them saying "Dear Mommy, you don't love your children anymore is it? You only love baby."
Alamak! Well, it was a blessing to get that note coz' then I was able to think and explain to them (in writing) what happened to their mommy. I realized that I was running on an empty "love tank".

Now what is this talk about a "love tank?" It's based on this book called "5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. The 5 love languages mentioned in the book are:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

Like a car that needs petrol in the tank to function, we need love in our tank to function effectively too. But how a person perceives love can differ from how their love ones perceive it. For example, your husband buys you a high tech vacuum cleaner. He perceives this as showing love because the vacuum cleaner will be a great help in your daily cleaning. However, you don't perceive that gift as love. Love to you is going out for a nice dinner and spending some alone time together. Hence, your love tank remains empty because both husband and wife are talking different "love languages."

So anyway, Monday nights are our Family Home Evening night. And naturally, the lesson was on "how to fill our love tanks." (My DH was snickering when he heard what the topic was, humph!). We wrote down the 5 ways and gave an explanation on what each was. With children you have to give plenty of examples. So, we discussed specific encouraging / complimentary phrases to use and specific acts of service that can be performed. Then we each identified which was our "love language". Jie-jie straight away pointed to "quality time" and "physical touch." KokoD said he wanted "acts of service." But we also know "physical touch" is important to him coz' he is always hugging and kissing me. Daddy and mommy also chose "acts of service."

In summary to my yucky day, here are my parenting tips:

• You can't be an effective parent on an empty love tank.
• Be thick skinned and tell your family what you need to get that tank filled. Don't wait for your spouse to guess it right or assume that he/she knows. If you need a day off, just say it. If you feel unappreciated, scream it!
  
• Explain to your children how you feel. When I replied their note and told them what I felt, my daughter went "Silly mommy!" Then she tried to do things to make me feel better. She took extra effort to wash her own plate and take care of the baby. So, tell your children you need a little caring from them too. Tell them your "empty tank" needs a re-fueling.
• When you are having a bad day and feeling disgruntled, it's good to put your feelings down on paper. It gets you thinking more rationally, and it helps to organize your thoughts. It's one way to let the "steam" out and you don't have to scream to do it. Post it on the wall for all to see. That'll get your kids learning to read too. Hahahah.
  

How To Cut Onions and Don't Cry

I hate cutting onions coz' I always end up crying with eyes stinging. I remember when I was younger, I heard that if we stick some match sticks in our mouth (like smoking cigarette) while cutting, the onions won't make you cry. I tried that. Errr... sorry, didn't work.
I've also tried holding my breath as much as I can while cutting. I thought that breathing in the onion vapors is what makes you cry right. Wrong! It's the stuff that gets in your eyes and irritate it.
So, I just read somewhere that cutting onions near a fire source will stop the stinging eyes. Something to do with the fire burning up the vapors from the onions coz' it's highly flamable (don't quote me coz' I don't know if it's true). Anyway, this is what I did yesterday. Put a little candle on the table as I cut away.

Result?

A little bit of stinging eyes but no tears. Maybe I need a bigger candle :)

p.s. They say cutting under water or under running water will wash away the vapors when you cut. But I don't think that is practical. Well, not for me anyway.

p.s.s. This will make a great science lesson for children. Teach them "why onions make you cry?"

Nice Cloth Diaper in Malaysia

I recently wrote a tip about how to wash cloth diapers in the washing machine without ruining it. Thought I'd follow up with an introduction to a Malaysian online store that sells cloth diapers. I see more and more mothers choosing to use cloth diapers over disposable ones. If you are wondering where to buy them, you can visit...



The brands they carry are Bumwear, Baby Beehinds, and KS Velcro Pocket Diaper.
I hear some women also trying out Cotton Menstrual Pads. This shop carries that product also. Other stuff they have are like baby slings/pouches, flashcards (English, Chinese & BM), environmental friendly mosquito and cockroach repellent and environmental friendly laundry ball (this one I've never heard but sounds interesting).

Well, just thought you'd like to know of another Malaysian parenting shop. Pay them a visit today.

Chicken Curry Kapitan

First off, I want to say that I'm not sure if what I cooked here is really Chicken Curry Kapitan. I searched the net for a recipe and I think it is sort of like that lah. The reason for cooking this dish is none other than to fulfill my DH wishes. He is the "I-love-to-eat-spicy-food" kinda person. He has even requested that there be a curry dish at least once a week. Sigh! Big challenge for someone who grew up not knowing how to eat spicy food. It is through his influence that I've come to acquire the taste for chili.

Anyway, this dish has a spicy-sour taste. DH says that "it's almost there." We can't figure out what I'm missing out. He also can't quite remember what authentic Curry Kapitan taste like. It may not taste like authentic Kari Kapitan but it still taste good.

So, if you are game to try, here is the recipe. Oh, before I start, must say that this dish does require a bit of work and planning. It's not one of those dishes that you can decide impromptu and pull things from your kitchen cabinets. My very talented FIL does a wonderful job stocking our fridge with ready made chili paste. Let me give you his chili recipe first:

CHILI PASTE
Ingredients:

• 50g dry chili (take out the seeds. Wash and soak in hot water).
• 250g shallots
• 1 clove garlic
• Belacan, 1 finger long
• Lengkuas (about 1 inch)
• Kunyit – if fresh, about 1 inch, if powder form 1 tsp.
  
• 3-4 lemon grass. Cut away the top and chop it up.
• 6-8 candlenut. Smash it
• 20-25 pcs cili padi (depends on how spicy you want it).

Directions:
In a blender, blend all the ingredients above to a paste.
In a wok, put about 1 cup oil then add the paste. Cook under medium fire until it comes to a boil. Turn down to low fire and keep on stirring for 20-30 minutes. The longer you stir, the longer you will be able to store it. Put in container and refrigerate.

Tip: Be sure to have sufficient amount of oil so it doesn’t burn.

With this ready to go chili paste, cooking any curry or spicy food becomes a breeze. If you have to prepare chili paste each and every time you want to cook, then cooking becomes time consuming. So it is good to allocate some free time to prepare this chili paste and store in the freezer.

Okay, now for the rest of the CURRY KAPITAN RECIPE.

INGREDIENTS:

• Chicken cut into bite size (I used about 1/2 a chicken). Marinade with about 1 tbsp of kunyit (turmeric) powder, some salt and a sprinkle of belacan granules.
  
• 2 big onions - quartered
• 2 tomatoes - quartered
  
• Garlic - minced
• The above mentioned chili paste.
  
• 4-5 lemon grass. Chopped up and then pounded.
  
• Curry leaves (just because DH bought a whole bunch that was on sale).
• Coconut milk
  
• Lime leaves (the fragrant ones).
• Lime to make lime juice
  

HOW TO COOK?

• Put oil in wok and start frying the garlic.
• Then put in the pounded lemon grass and onions.
• Add in your chili (how much depends on how spicy you want it to be).
• Next is some sugar (to take away some spiciness).
  
• Fry (or us Malaysians like to say "tumi") until fragrant. Hokkien we say "phang-phang".
  
• Add in the chicken and keep on frying for a little while.
  
• A dash of soy sauce.
  
• Pour in the coconut milk. Sorry I didn't measure. I just bought the packet of fresh coconut from the shop and poured into the wok about 2/3. If estimate, I would say about 1 cup of milk?
  
• I added in a bit of water too, so the chicken can cook, simmer and stew.
  
• Dumped in some lime leaves, a bunch of curry leaves and the tomatoes.
  
• Also added 1/3 cube of chicken stock.
• Covered the wok and let it simmer till most of the gravy has evaporated. Stirring occasionally.
  
• Towards the end, add the rest of the coconut milk and the lime juice.
  
• Cook for about another 5 minutes. Gravy should be quite thick now.
  
• Don't forget to taste and see if it's salty enough etc.... Suit your taste okay.
  

I read some recipes calling to add thin coconut milk in the beginning and then thick coconut milk at the end. Aiyah, sorry-lah. Me lazy to buy the shredded coconut and do the squeezing myself. So, I'm voting to forgo the thin and thick part. I just buy the already squeezed coconut milk and use that. First part of the cooking I poured in the milk and then added water, so can consider as thin milk I guess. Then towards the end I just add the rest of the coconut milk (without water), can consider that thick milk right?

Okay, I think you guys get the picture that my cooking isn't exactly like the pros. But hey, it still tasted darn good.

What Happened to My Cloth Diaper

I know many mothers are now turning to using cloth diapers. But I've not read of anyone having problems with the leg gathers/gutters/gusset/becoming loose. Not sure how to explain...erm... meaning the stretchy thingy that is suppose to keep all the poo in is now stretched and has lost it's spring-iness. So much so that if baby has loose stools, it kinda runs down his leg. Ewww!

Maybe I should give some background as to how I wash these diapers. If there is poo, I hand wash it off first and then later, dump it into the washing machine with the rest of my daily laundry. I only bought 7, so I have to wash everyday or I will run out. Now, I suspect the gutters (that's what I'm calling it) have become loose because of the spin-dry action of the washing machine. You know when you take the clothes out to dry, they are all kinda tangled up together? Well, I believe this repeated stretching because of the entanglement is why my cloth diapers are what they are today.

Recently I started using a laundry bag to wash them. Unfortunately, the damage has already been done.

Mamas Parenting Tip:

• For all mothers out there with still new cloth diapers, consider using a laundry bag to wash your cloth diapers. This is so they won't get tangled with your other laundry and stretch out the gutters.
  

Baby Milestone: 15-16 months

Looks like I missed baby's 15 month milestone. So, guess I'll do a 2-in-1 posting. Many people say babyD is very mature for his age. He understands so many things and the way he handles himself, sometimes can give you heart attack coz' you think he is going to fall or bump his head but he doesn't. And even when he does fall, he won't cry (unless very, very, very painful). Yes, his pain tolerance is quite high. He has cut himself a few times before and I didn't know about it coz' he made no noise. Okay, so here is a list of things he is up to:

• He soooooo wants to be involved in our activities and always looking for ways to help. The other day when we called for the older two siblings to help take the plates of rice out to the dining table, who should come running into the kitchen instead? Yes, babyD with his hands stretched out, asking us to give him the plates. We gave him forks and spoons instead. Now he comes for the fork and spoons every time we get ready to eat.
  He would also sit and watch me sweep and mop the floor. In the end I will give him mop a bit and that is what he is waiting for.
  He will want to put the folded clothes into the laundry basket so I can carry it upstairs. Unfortunately all the clothes will come undone. Helpful but also not helping you know?
  
• He observes everyone and everything and then he will imitate. Here he is sitting quietly watching his dad fix a computer. Soon after he took the screwdriver and tried to poke around the computer too.
  He would also sit and watch me cook. Today while I was cooking in the kitchen, he was in the dining area with a spoon and a tiny metal sauce plate pretending to cook too.
  He will sometimes watch tv and pretend to laugh (even though nothing funny is on). I guess that's what he observes us doing - watch tv and laugh.
  He has seen me use the company chop on my customer receipts. He knows where it is kept. My drawers now need a lock!
  
• The two words he says very clearly are "park" (to go to the park) and "neh-neh" (human milk dispensers). He will also say "booh" for book. The other night I was sitting across him from the dining table and he stood up and leaned against the table and said "mama." I was elated thinking he was calling me. I went over to him to pick him up but he didn't even look at me. He kept saying "mama, mama." You know what he wanted? BANANA. Sigh! banana/mama, come on boy, don't do this to me?? :)
• Likes to sit on daddy's lap during "makan" (eating) time.
• I have to watch for his "poo-poo" face so I can whisk him off to the bathroom. Doesn't seem to have a problem sitting on the bowl.
• It's easier to understand what he wants now coz' he will point and then nod for yes or shake his head for no.
  
• Still has to suck 'nen-nen' to sleep.
  
  

Featured In the Newspaper

Just excited to inform everyone that my blogs and online children's bookshop is being featured on Monday's (5/5/08) New Strait Times, Tech&U section.

I wonder how the article will turn out. Ooooh, I'm excited!

Mother's Day Candy Bouquet

Keep your kids busy with this easy-to-do candy flower. Make a few and you will have a blooming candy bouquet. All you need is some lollipops, colored paper, scissors, glue and ribbon. I know some of you mothers out there probably say you don't eat lollipop, that it's too childish or you're cutting down on sweets. I think it's still the perfect gift:

• Cheap


• Straight from the heart


• Lollipop makes your kid happy


• Their special written messages (or scribblings, depending on the age of your child) makes your heart all fuzzy.

Click here for step by step instructions on how to make this lollipop flower.
Here is more stuff on candy bouquets.
For those with an entrepreneur spirit, why not think about starting your own candy bouquet business.

Book Giveaway Contest Ending Tonight

Just to let you all know that the Book Giveaway Contest will be ending tonight. Current results can be seen at the sidebar. These ladies have been working very hard. Kudos! I feel your spirit.
Anybody else going to sprint for the finish line? Remember, you just need to get into the top 3 spots.

Turmeric Chicken

I was cracking my head the other day thinking what to do with the chicken I had thawed out. I was in the mood to do something different. Well, different from my usual ginger chicken or chicken with mushroom. I decided to try kunyit" (turmeric) chicken and it actually turned out quite nice. The family gives it a thumbs up so here is the recipe.

Ingredients:

• Chicken - In this case I used about 1/2 chicken.
• 2-3 potatoes, quartered.
• 1-2 large onions, quartered.
• Garlic - chopped to tiny pieces. How much garlic depends on how much you like it. I love it so I put in plenty.
• Ginger - Just a little bit, cut into strips.
• 3-4 serai (lemon grass).
• Turmeric powder.
• Salt and sugar.

How I cooked it?

• Rubbed a little salt on the chicken.
• Then used about 2 tsp of turmeric powder and rubbed that over the chicken too.
• Left the chicken to season for about 1 hour (or more).
• Boiled the potatoes until cooked. Set it aside.
• Put oil in the work and fry the garlic, onion, ginger and 'serai' until fragrant.
• Add in the chicken and stir fry for a few minutes.
• Pour in enough water for the chicken to simmer.
• Add salt and sugar to taste.
• Close the wok with a lid and let simmer till gravy thickens a bit.
• Just before you turn off the fire, add in the cooked potatoes and stir it around.

p.s.: Even though I pounded the ends of the 'serai' to get the flavor out, my DH says the 'serai' taste is still too mild. Any ideas on how to get the 'serai' flavor out more?

p.s.s.: Did you know that research shows turmeric to be a spice that has antibiotic, antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, anticarcinogenic and antimicrobial properties? Some of the benefits when ingesting it are improving blood circulation, purifying the blood, strengthens the digestive system and improving the liver function.

It can also help clear up acne problem. Use it externally by making a paste and applying it on the acne. Leave it on for 20-30 minutes and then rinse off with lukewarm water. Here are some options on how to make the paste:

• Ground fresh turmeric root with yogurt.
• Turmeric powder mixed with mint juice.
• Grounded neem leaves with turmeric powder.
• Add 1tsp of turmeric powder, 1tsp of sandalwood powder and milk.

Beware of the yellow stain in leaves behind. Some say cleansing milk will get rid of the stain.

Edutainment Software Mia's Reading Adventures: The Bugaboo Bugs!

Some of you may know that I do pre-school homeschooling. I don't really follow a set of syllabus. I do a lot of reading to my children and also whatever workbooks I managed to get from book sales. Usually I follow the syllabus from the workbooks. Can't go much wrong there. I also look for educational activities on the internet, especially on topics that my children are interested in. There are also interactive websites such as Starfall.com and Iknowthat.com that my children enjoy playing. Another teaching tool I use are educational softwares. To date the software most enjoyed are the Jumpstart ones.



Now there's are new edutainment software called Mia Reading: The Bugaboo Bugs!
"Edutainment" sounds like a good way to learn - education + entertainment. We all know children learn best when it's in the form of playing.



The Adventure
Basically the software is about a little mouse (the heroin of the adventure) trying to get rid of the Bugaboo Bugs from her house. Her family has lived there for generations and now, these Bugaboo Bugs put them in danger of being evicted. You see, these horrible bugs might cause the humans to call the exterminators and then, everyone including Mia, will be out on the street.

The Education
Target = 5-9 year olds (Perfect for my no.1 and 2)
The educational activities are integrated into the story.
The following is what your children will learn:

• associating images to words
• adverbs
• phonics
• rhymes
• spelling
• sentence structure
• vocabulary
• reading comprehension
• word recognition
• etc... etc...etc...

How difficult is it?
The software supports the school's curriculum from kindergarten to grade three. There are 12 reading and writing skills activities with 4 distinct levels of difficulty. So I guess you can say it is a progressive way to learn to read. Of course with all computer activities, children must be given a time limit. Educational software should be a supplementary teaching tool. It serves as a good break from mundane worksheets and boring homework.

To see screen shots of the game, visit this Kutoka's page.

Egg Taufu with Minced Pork

I'll come right out and confess that I totally dislike taufu. The only kind of taufu I will eat is this egg taufu. Here is how I cook it:

Ingredients:

• Egg taufu (slice into little round circles)
• Chinese mushrooms (soak in hot water till soft then cut into thin slices)
• Minced pork (For my Muslim friends, I'm sure chicken would be good too)
• Garlic (minced into small pieces)
• Salt
• Sugar
• Hoisin sauce
• Oyster sauce
• Light soy sauce
• 1 egg
• Cilantro ("Yin sai")

How to cook it?

1. Add oil and fry the egg taufu first.
2. Remove the taufu and set aside.
3. Add oil and fry the garlic until turning brown.
4. Add in minced pork and stir fry.
5. Add a pinch of salt, little bit sugar and about 1-2 tsp of soy sauce.
6. Add hoisin sauce and oyster sauce.
7. Fry until it's cooked.
8. Add in chinese mushroom.
9. Pour in water to make gravy (how much water depends on how much gravy you want).
10. Let it simmer a few minutes.
11. Crack in one egg. Stir it around.
12. When about done, just add back the already cooked taufu.
13. Serve with some cilantro on top (if you don't like cilantro, you can just forget this option. I like it and I think it makes the dish look good).